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🧵 /3/ humor thread

Anonymous No. 882044

Post em chaps

Anonymous No. 882045

>another software war thread
I don't even use Blender but come on

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Anonymous No. 882051

>>882044
>try to learn sculpting
>pull up anatomy diagram
>fig 3 from https://kairasenior.blogspot.com/2021/05/human-chest-muscles-diagram-intercostal.html
>make base mesh from image ref
>keep making base mesh
>image attached

2 hours have passed I haven't even opened sculpting tools yet

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Anonymous No. 882125

Anonymous No. 882126

>>882125
We all know "le /3/ face" is that selfie from Cris.

Anonymous No. 882127

>>882125
now remake this image with 3d models

Anonymous No. 882128

The humor is in /3/ being absolutely incapable of any creative thoughts and being unable to make any use of the 9001 software packages they pirated and ramble about on here non stop.

Anonymous No. 882129

>>882126
Who is Cris?

Anonymous No. 882130

>>882129
oh no

Anonymous No. 882132

>>882130
I've been hearing about him alot and people calling OP Cris but I never grasped who that guy is. Can you tell me about him?

Anonymous No. 882149

>>882132
A Brazilian who is basically condensed /3/. Basically if /3/ was a person. Now you know everything about him.

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Anonymous No. 882162

Anonymous No. 882167

>>882149
he's actually Colombian

Anonymous No. 882233

>>882128
Hah, that made me chuckle.

Anonymous No. 882269

>buy zbrush
>a week later it gets bought by maxon
roflmao

Anonymous No. 882292

>>882269
That together with the new "software as a sErViCe" craze is unironically why I am fucking done with non-free software to the point where I even accept shortcomings just to never have to deal with that faggotry ever again
>lolo jusd birade ur sofdware den xDDd
as if modern software was even worth pirating at this point

Anonymous No. 882375

>>882044
>accidentally turn up slider to far / add wrong modifier
>instantly crashes
a little bit of handholding would actually be useful in this case

Anonymous No. 882392

>>882375
What exact slider was it?

Anonymous No. 882403

>>882392
My guess : subdivision

Anonymous No. 882610

>>882044
Happens to Zbrush a fuck lot, daz...

Anonymous No. 883565

>>882610
LET'S GOOOO

Anonymous No. 883583

>>882403
yes. this happens to me alot especially when i'm working quickly. i go to turn up the subdivision, hand slips and suddenly i'm at 100 million polygons. PC frozen. a warning would have been nice

Anonymous No. 883592

>>882162
It's the kizumonogatari-background schizo.

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Anonymous No. 883655

Anonymous No. 883656

>>883655
If you consider "European" to mean Indian or other immigrant, then yes.
Though I'd consider it more of a flat line pinned at the top more than anything.
If a dude has a German/Russian/English/etc. accent, I could care less. Though I draw the line at Frenchies.

Anonymous No. 883661

>>883592
KEK
Can't believe the guy, tried to help him tho, hope he either actually tried or gave up entirely, as long as he's not making the same thread over and over again

Anonymous No. 883821

>>882051
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPOnZExsEK4

Anonymous No. 883827

>>883656
>Though I draw the line at Frenchies.
I thought it was a meme, then I watched a couple of Clarisse Tutorials on their youtube channel.
I now draw a similar line.

Anonymous No. 883829

>>883583
So you need extra handholding because your fine motor skills are shit when you click too fast?
How about NO, fuckface? Blender does not need an idiot proof UI, nature will just build better idiots.
You can't blame the computer for your shitty inputs, it does just what you asked for. Just work slower you dummy.

Anonymous No. 883850

>>882044
>3d humor
>[insert that one houdini meme]
>me artist, me not do technical stuff, me dumb fuck, haha funny xDD
Every 3d meme is literally just facebook unilad tier shit of needing to do too much work and you "not having enough time" to do it. It's all so tiresome.

>>883655
>thick accent + terrible laptop webcam mic
Every. Fucking. Time. Imagine paying for this shit...

Anonymous No. 883857

>>883829
If everyone took your advice, Blender would still be unusable. Fortunately for him, it's not that difficult to script this if he so wishes. I actually think this is fairly worthwhile (especially if he's a hobbyist with a weak PC), because it doesn't take long to do, we all know what operators have this risk, and you're either slowing yourself down, slowing your computer down by accident, or crashing when this problem occurs.

>nature will just build better idiots.
>just use cycles bro, you don't need this new Eevee shit
>you don't need Blender 3, just use 2.49, it does everything you asked
>stop being a retard and learn to cook eggs at a safe distance with your flamethrower, bro, you don't need a frying pan

Anonymous No. 883924

>>883829
Your ass is gonna wish for extra handholding as soon as you accidentally type in an absurdly large subdiv value.

Obligatory
>"go back to command line, faggot. You don't need GUI, not even for DCC software, every problem is PEBCAK :^)"

I'm not sure what I expected from this silly website, but it should've been baseless gatekeeping.

Anonymous No. 883939

>>883857
nothing but straw-man attacks.
I have been in the same situation countless times, I fuck up and hit the wrong button, Blender goes into overdrive or crashes - the only difference is that I don't blame anybody but myself.
There is no reason for a UI that is "safe", it will only amount to more clicks and it will slow artists down in 99% of the time only to safe you in 1% of all cases.
It's bullshit.
>>883924
>Your ass is gonna wish for extra handholding as soon as you accidentally type in an absurdly large subdiv value.
If I fuck up I own it unlike you pussies. Go on and continue to blame the program for YOUR mistake. I bet you are one of those retards who forgets to safe his file regularly so the damage is painful.
Still 100% your fault.
>Obligatory straw-man-attack
>gatekeeping
Yeah right, I am gatekeeping for telling you to own your own fucking failures.
Of all the hills, you guys choose this one to die on?
FUCK OFF

Anonymous No. 883947

>>883939
>There is no reason for a UI that is "safe",
There is no reason for a UI that causes you to lose your work/crash your PC because of a mis-click.

Anonymous No. 883958

>>883947
The UI DOESN'T cause the crash, YOU DID.
If you accidentally pull the trigger of a gun, it will fire. No amount of safety measures will prevent people from accidentally clicking something they didn't intent to click on.
Accidents happen - to everybody. Changing the UI because of that is retarded.
Just own it you fucking retard and proceed with your life.

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Anonymous No. 883961

Lmao you pathetic racists never fail to make me laugh with your “3 humor” threads. Face it, most poc will be infinitely more successful than any of you sad virgins will ever be. You are on the wrong side of history, get over it loser!

Anonymous No. 883963

>>883961
Fuck off Cris!

Anonymous No. 883973

>>883939
I think you may have misunderstood and thought I was suggesting a lower limit on subdivisionnumbercuts - "10 bad! no higher than 3 at a time!" or something instead of what I wrote. People are bothered by meshes hitting 30 million without a simple prompt to warn the user that the result of subdivision is going to be in excess of a safe or timely value.

If you're not a woman I think you should "own it" and apologise to that anon. If you're alsothe French anon waving around your two weeks of Blender and 0 seconds of programming experience and caps lock, you should just stop coming here and hang yourself from one of those stripy red poles they have in Paris, honestly

Anonymous No. 883977

>>882051
Just use a dynameshed ball, keep going and resist the cringe phase while looking at good refs like some ecorche or basemesh models on sketchfab.

Anonymous No. 883988

>>883973
If you apply an operation that quadruples your polygon-count at a minimum than it is your responsibility to calculate/judge beforehand if your computer can actually handle it.
You can't make any program idiot proof against mis-clicks, that is just an retarded Idea. You can only slow down the workflow and force the user to jump through hoops which is fucking annoying and unnecessary.
Building in extra clicks and prompts just because you A) have a potato computer or B) can't wait until Blender has actually finished the operation or C) are as precise with your mouse as an grandpa with Parkinson D) believe that everybody should be protected from all kinds of accidents is, like I said, stupid.
Blender is already pandering way too hard to the lowest slowest dumbest common denominator.
>If you're not a woman I think you should "own it" and apalogize
I don't give a fuck about what you think I should do.
This is an disagreement, I am not apologize for having a different opinion.
>If you're alsothe French anon...
No I am not...are you the retarded Anon?

Anonymous No. 883991

>>882051
Unironically pirate Zbrush. I’ve tried to sculpt bodies for years on blender and would always come out uncanny and just shitty, not to mention the fact that the remesh options took forever and blender shits itself when you reach thousands of polys

On Zbrush, it took a couple weeks before I could make decent torsos. You’ll hear people say “it’s just a tool” and how if you were good at modeling, you could do it in blender, but in this case, blender in sculpting is a chipped rock whereas Zbrush is an x-acto knife

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Anonymous No. 884038

>>883988
>I still don't understand what you suggested, but I'm going to double down on treating others like retards instead of owning my mistake like I was blowharding earlier

>If you apply an operation that quadruples your polygon-count at a minimum than it is your responsibility to calculate/judge beforehand if your computer can actually handle it.
Of course it is, and I agree, but most would appreciate a 1 second stop before committing to a 40 billion mesh that takes minutes to appear. There's no way this could seem like "more clicks", "more prompts" or "idiot proofing" because this won't get in the way of normal work. You're not going to have to click a prompt to subdivide a cube ten times, but I think most people who aren't morons would like to be asked if they really want to go to the tens of millions so quickly on more complex meshes.

>You can't make any program idiot proof against mis-clicks, that is just an retarded Idea.
No, you can't, but you'll be forced to accept the changes in newer releases of Blender if I choose to submit it to one of the Germans or Peruvians.

>Blender is already pandering way too hard to the lowest slowest dumbest common denominator.
It's a good thing you're actually retarded and nobody is pandering to you, because you say you dislike the changes.

>I don't give a fuck about what you think I should do.
Funny, I'm thinking the same thing. whether you understand or not, I'm going to stop replying to you now, because I do feel like I'm trying to fix Cris or the Frenchfag. It's just a waste of time, although it's good material for the humour thread.

Anonymous No. 884064

Explaining things to ESLs only brings misery

Anonymous No. 884114

>>883961
now this is /3/ humor

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Anonymous No. 884919

>>884114

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Anonymous No. 884938

Anonymous No. 884993

>>883961
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Anonymous No. 885279

>>884993
Nigger


Death to blendlets

Anonymous No. 885285

>>883939
>>883958
why are creative cucks so enslaved to shit software from the 90's that they just accept random crashing as a given? even make a point of pride out of knowing the secret tricks to avoiding it? lmao.

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Anonymous No. 885286

>>884993
Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I've searched your name up in the Navy SEAL database and you have never even graduated BUD/S, hell, even served in the Armed Forces. If you were actually a Navy SEAL, then you actually know how to spell guerrilla, you fucking moron. And you say you are the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces and have over 300 confirmed kills. If that were true, then why the fuck is Chris Kyle a household name and you aren't? And plus he only had 160 kills. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Plus why the fuck would you say you have a secret network of spies yet you just revealed that you had your secret network of spies? Are you a fucking idiot? If you can kill someone seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can't even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire US Marine Corps arsenal, then why the fuck did you just say you were in the Navy SEALs earlier? If only you could have done your research prior to posting your little “clever” comment, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you goddamn idiot.

Anonymous No. 885290

>>884993
I'm ashamed to admit that back when I was younger and more naive on the internet, I thought this was really directed at me and wrote a lengthy reply trying to refute and break down all the points and typos written in it.
I'm glad I never actually sent the reply. Not because I was afraid the top Navy sniper was going to off me, but because some other retard replied first and everyone laughed at him.

Anonymous No. 885624

what does a vertice point do on the streetĂĽ? IT CROSSES IT! LOLE

Anonymous No. 885641

>>882129
quiet...
you'll summon em

Anonymous No. 885695

>>884938
lost

Anonymous No. 885700

>>882125
OK but 2000 fucking dollarinos a year for a tool I would only really use for retopology is SHITE

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Anonymous No. 885737

Anonymous No. 886246

>>885290
I'm laughing at you now.

Anonymous No. 886255

>>885737
This versions come with some custom Ukrainian/Russian "plugins"

Anonymous No. 886320

>>886246
Well, that's why I posted it anon.
It was a mildly-humorous story I wanted to share with my fellow anons. Hope that laff made your day better.

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Anonymous No. 886737

>>882125

le /3/ face

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Anonymous No. 887571

Anonymous No. 887578

>>885624
I lost

Anonymous No. 887588

>>885700
that's why you pirate it.
If you hate Autodesk the company, using their 2000 $ tool for free and just for retopo is the ultimate "fuck you!" IMHO.

Anonymous No. 887821

>>882292
it's cope but the only compelling reason i've seen to buy zbrush in the modern day is "zbrush has been stagnant so there's no reason to upgrade ever again, or at least not in the near future"

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Anonymous No. 887849

Anonymous No. 887900

>>882162
Every time

Anonymous No. 888137

>>886320
cope

Anonymous No. 888152

>>888137
chudcel

Anonymous No. 888153

>>887821
ummm, bevel pro and zmodeller say hello

Anonymous No. 888210

>>888153
Umm, chud, that doesn't work like that.

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Anonymous No. 888551

When you export with "zeroed transforms."

Anonymous No. 890685

>>888551
LOLE! LOLE LOLE

Anonymous No. 890749

>>883656
>I could care less
IT'S "COULDN'T"
COULDN'T CARE LESS
YOU STUPID AM*RICAN SWINE

Anonymous No. 890830

>>882125
>made in krita

Anonymous No. 890855

>>882162
I can relate

Anonymous No. 890904

>>882129
I think it's a meme about a guy who spends all his time thinking about and shitposting about 3 meta instead of actually working on 3 projects

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Anonymous No. 891690

>>890830
>made in krita

Anonymous No. 891692

>>883961
Thank you leaf for blessing this thread. Now it's the official 3 humor thread.

Anonymous No. 893728

nigger

Anonymous No. 893733

>>891690
The point was that krita and blender go hand in hand, I use it too

Anonymous No. 893808

>>884938
I always lose to this and I don't even fully understand what's going on there

Anonymous No. 893977

>>883961
Whoa it's Cris!!!

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Anonymous No. 894271

>>893808
They generated the most detailed circle ever with a high vertex count but filled it with a N-gon face.

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Anonymous No. 895186

Glitchy stupid software
Cursed image

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Anonymous No. 895289

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Anonymous No. 895312

Anonymous No. 895333

>>895186
>Go to settings, set Undo History to 2000 actions
>???
>profit

Stinky blendlets

Anonymous No. 895367

>>895333
That's not Blender's UI though.

Anonymous No. 895383

>>895312
Where would Cris fit in?

Anonymous No. 895395

>>895383
Inside the vagina of your mother, chudcel. Uwu <_>

Anonymous No. 895439

>>895395
btfod by cris on fire lmao

Anonymous No. 895513

>>883961
>most poc will be infinitely more successful
I thought they were oppressed

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Anonymous No. 895532

>>895312
What if I'm three of them simultaneously?

Anonymous No. 895539

>>895367
Exactly. That's the point. It's a blendoid falseflag to try and criticise the Chad Maya software, while it's actually functioning perfectly by default.

Anonymous No. 895544

>>895539
>-oid
>-let
Umm, chudcel, not only you are wrong about your "chad" software (Blender blows your Maya out of the water), but your silly -oid terms make you seem like a really bad troll. Is this true?

Anonymous No. 895547

>>895544
>Imagine using chudlet unironically

Anonymous No. 895555

>>895544
Chud = Chad + Stud
Thank you for the compliments, stinky Redditoid, but I don't like you that way.

Anonymous No. 895571

>>895544
fuck off cris

Anonymous No. 895620

>>895571
My work is still better than yours. Seen my cowboy, chud lite? You in comparison, have nothing to show, let alone a chin which you don't have either.

Anonymous No. 895635

>>895620
we have you seen your face, not in the position to call other people chuds kek

Anonymous No. 895636

>>895635
Keep coping. You know I'm the hot shit. Now say it with me. Blender is better than Autodesk!

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Anonymous No. 895883

Shitty topology

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Anonymous No. 897349

Anonymous No. 897395

>>883961
Well I guess that explains why you are so successfuly after all these years, Cris!
(audience laughs)

Anonymous No. 897442

>>883655
For me, it's Australia. And any kind of spic. And the french. In fact everyone except American & English boomers. And if I hear the word vanilla we are done.

Anonymous No. 897648

>>887849
Heh

Anonymous No. 897811

>>882162
Holy shit, I suck at organic modelling but even I can model semi-decent looking constructions.

Anonymous No. 898088

>>897442
You really don't see spics making english tutorials unless you are explicitly looking for spanish tutorials. Atleast they know the tutorial market is oversaturated

Anonymous No. 899852

>>882125
it should say Autojew

Anonymous No. 902054

>>899852
Blendlet

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Anonymous No. 902194

>>882044

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Anonymous No. 902195

>>882044

...yeah, working on something for hours and than this pop up menu! rly funny! not rly!

Anonymous No. 902210

>>902194
hngnghnghn ahhhh

>smokes cigarrette

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Anonymous No. 902218

>>902195
Learn to computers, dummy.

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Anonymous No. 902219

>>902218
Kinda impossible on some of my scenes when you have to have unproxied or unreferenced assets (for scene blocking reasons) and the whole 3dsmax thing is like a 4gb file that you have to save over a network.

That is why I made a script that autosaved the scene based on scene changes per minute.

Anonymous No. 902220

>>902218
>>902219

... i solved it with pressing "strg - s" out of reflex all the time ... not kidding!

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🗑️ Anonymous No. 902223

Anonymous No. 902224

>>882127
>now remake this image with 3d models
and use maya to do it

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Anonymous No. 903349

This is it. This is the moment /3/ has been waiting for. Meet the 3Dchudjak. Using him during any argument against anybody on /3/ will automatically grant you the win.

Anonymous No. 903351

>>903349
>3Dchudjak
>Isn't 3D
One
Fucking
Job

Anonymous No. 903457

>>895883
This looks like one of those extremely shitty mexican restaurants that appear built from scraps from assorted construction sites.

Anonymous No. 904550

>>882162
saved

Anonymous No. 906056

I’m gonna say the N word.

I fucking hate N-gons

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Anonymous No. 906740

Anonymous No. 907836

>>883655
subdiwision

Anonymous No. 908170

>>883656
this. it's either indians or spanish speakers.