🧵 Untitled Thread
Anonymous at Tue, 12 Mar 2024 13:06:37 UTC No. 16069965
Could you survive a chimpanzee attack by calmly sitting down and closing your eyes to appear non-threatening or would it just not give a shit and rip your dick off anyway?
Also would it work for gorillas, meese, and other territorial creatures?
Anonymous at Tue, 12 Mar 2024 13:09:05 UTC No. 16069969
>>16069965
It would rip your dick off. Chimps are evil and kill for fun. They also kill for food and will just straight up eat you alive. Might work for gorillas though, gorillas are pretty chill provided you aren't challenging their dominance.
Anonymous at Tue, 12 Mar 2024 13:10:09 UTC No. 16069971
>>16069965
If a chimp's attacking you, it's trying to rip off your dick. Why would trying to appear non-threatening make your dick look more ripped off? Are you going to rip your own dick off? That might work, but I don't recommend it. What you want to do is rip their dick off.
Anonymous at Tue, 12 Mar 2024 13:18:26 UTC No. 16069985
>>16069965
If it's launching itself towards you ready to attack, it's going to rip off your dick anyway. Plus closing your eyes would probably increase the chance of them attacking since you would not see anything and won't react.
Anonymous at Tue, 12 Mar 2024 13:59:46 UTC No. 16070055
>>16069965
No, if you want to survive a chimp attack you need to channel your inner bloodlust. Gouge his eyes out, kick HIM in the balls and shank his throat.
Anonymous at Tue, 12 Mar 2024 22:48:01 UTC No. 16070891
>>16069965
God, we're humans beings for fuck sake, just shoot it or stab its neck dumbass, we are the top for a reason, we GOT WEAPONS NIGGA
Anonymous at Tue, 12 Mar 2024 22:50:36 UTC No. 16070896
>>16070891
>we GOT WEAPONS NIGGA
burgers
Anonymous at Tue, 12 Mar 2024 22:58:08 UTC No. 16070907
>>16069965
Last chimp attack I saw was man sitting calmly while chimp, orangutaung, whatever it was in India I sus, ripped half the humans scalp off. Like, not even close.
What you do is pose sideways in a neutral position and get ready to fight a chimp. This usally implies your punching arm facing the target or maybe you prefer big sweeping hooks so then the opposite side. Never turn your back, never square off - that is exactly how people run into dick problems.
Anonymous at Tue, 12 Mar 2024 23:24:24 UTC No. 16070940
Reminder that contrary to myth, chimps are only about twice as strong as humans.