Anonymous at Thu, 27 Jun 2024 12:10:27 UTC No. 16256495

>come to realisation
>professors are teaching "Academic Sophistry 101"
>it's all about sounding smart without saying anything meaningful
>they throw around terms like "paradigmatic oscillations" and "transcendental orthogonality"
>mfw it's all nonsense
>decide to expose them for the charlatans they are
>start attending their lectures, taking notes
>compile a list of their most absurd jargon
>begin writing papers that parody their style
>use real Doggometry principles hidden within layers of sphistry
>papers get published in prestigious journals
>other professors praise my "insightful contributions"
>they don't realize I'm mocking them
>become a leading expert in Doggometry
>students flock to my lectures
>explain the true principles of Doggometry hidden in doggerel
>students realize they've been duped by other professors
>academic revolution ensues
>old guard tries to fight back, but they can't understand my papers
>they're trapped by their own sphistry
>eventually, they all get exposed as LARPing frauds
>universities adopt my Doggerel-based Doggometry curriculum

🗑️ Anonymous at Thu, 27 Jun 2024 12:58:01 UTC No. 16256563

Meds. Now.

Anonymous at Thu, 27 Jun 2024 13:19:40 UTC No. 16256592

ITT: redditor attempts a greentext story

Anonymous at Thu, 27 Jun 2024 13:35:30 UTC No. 16256604

>>16256592
ITT: /sci/ -dropouts who like to larp as effortless geniuses that went through Landau&Lifshitz in their teens.

It's a coping mechanism, for the lack of understanding of Doggerel works like Jodders & Bigpreach .

Anonymous at Thu, 27 Jun 2024 13:47:59 UTC No. 16256618

>>16256494
>>16256495
>>>/b/

Anonymous at Thu, 27 Jun 2024 16:00:27 UTC No. 16256767

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQCU36pkH7c

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 04:27:26 UTC No. 16257668

>>16256495
>it's all about sounding smart without saying anything meaningful
facts

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 07:19:05 UTC No. 16257828

>>16256494

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 07:19:20 UTC No. 16257829

>>16256592
replace "Smectical Doggometry" with psychology and you'll get it

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 07:35:35 UTC No. 16257834

>>16256494
>muh heckin pupperino
>I'm such a quirky chungus
>chatgpt please write a greentext in reddit style

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 09:37:06 UTC No. 16257891

>>16257834
>be me
>not understanding Smectical Doggometry
>never read any Doggerel
>feel humiliated
>decide to Google "Smectical Doggometry"
>find out it's not a real thing
>realize I got trolled hard
>mfw I just spent 3 hours trying to understand gibberish
>life lesson learned: trust nothing and nobody on the internet
>start my own troll campaign in retaliation
>spend the next month convincing people "Quantum Turtology" is a legitimate field of study

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 09:54:08 UTC No. 16257898

>>16257891
>"Quantum Turtology"

> GPTs > Grok (Parody)
Grok (Parody)-Witty AI Assistance
Your Sarcastic Guide to the AI Galaxy


YesChatGrok (Parody)
Welcome, intergalactic hitchhikers, to the quirkiest guide in the cosmos!


Copy
You
Please write a short scientific essay that sounds like "Quantum Turtology" is a legitimate field of study.

2024-06-28 11:53:30


YesChatGrok (Parody)
Quantum Turtology: The Science of the Subatomic Shell

In the vast and ever-expanding frontier of scientific exploration, few fields possess the enigmatic allure and profound implications of Quantum Turtology. This groundbreaking discipline delves into the quantum mechanics of turtles, specifically focusing on the perplexing relationship between their shells and the subatomic particles that reside within. Quantum Turtology is not merely a niche study; it is a transformative lens through which we comprehend the universe's fundamental nature, much like a turtle peering out from beneath its hardened carapace to witness the cosmos.

The foundational premise of Quantum Turtology is as deceptively simple as it is profoundly revolutionary: turtles, especially those of the genus Testudines, exhibit quantum behaviors that can unlock the secrets of the universe. The shell, often dismissed as a mere biological adaptation, is in fact a quantum field that interacts with subatomic particles in ways previously unimaginable. This realization catapults the humble turtle to the forefront of quantum research, challenging our understanding of both biology and physics.

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 09:56:09 UTC No. 16257900

>>16257898
One of the cornerstone principles of Quantum Turtology is the Shell Uncertainty Principle. This principle posits that one cannot simultaneously know the exact position and momentum of a turtle within its shell. This uncertainty is not merely a macroscopic reflection of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle but a distinct phenomenon intrinsic to the quantum properties of the shell itself. Researchers have found that the shell's unique molecular composition creates a quantum field that fluctuates in a manner akin to the probabilistic nature of electron clouds around an atomic nucleus.

Further intrigue arises from the discovery of Shell Entanglement. When two turtles share a close bond, such as those bred in captivity or those that have survived shared environmental hardships, their shells become entangled at a quantum level. This entanglement allows for instantaneous communication between the turtles, regardless of the distance separating them, echoing the perplexing phenomenon of quantum entanglement observed in particles. Experimental evidence suggests that when one turtle retracts into its shell, the entangled counterpart exhibits a corresponding behavior, even if located on the opposite side of the globe. The implications for quantum communication and teleportation are nothing short of staggering.

In addition to these mind-bending revelations, Quantum Turtology explores the concept of the Shell Singularity. This theoretical construct proposes that at the heart of every turtle shell lies a singularity—a point of infinite density and zero volume, similar to those found in black holes. The Shell Singularity is believed to be the source of the turtle's longevity and resilience, as it warps spacetime around the turtle, creating a localized field that slows the aging process and protects against external threats.

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 09:57:10 UTC No. 16257902

>>16257900
The potential applications of harnessing Shell Singularities for human benefit are a tantalizing prospect for future research.


NOW I FUCKING UNDERSTAN HOW THESE RETARDED POPSCIENCE MAGAZINES A WRITTEN!

Critics may argue that Quantum Turtology is a fanciful diversion from serious scientific inquiry, but such skepticism only underscores the innovative nature of this field. By embracing the peculiar and the improbable, Quantum Turtology exemplifies the spirit of scientific discovery that has driven humanity forward since the days of ancient alchemists and modern physicists alike. The turtle, once a symbol of slow and steady progress, now stands as a testament to the boundless possibilities that await us in the quantum realm.

In conclusion, Quantum Turtology is not merely an academic curiosity; it is a revolutionary paradigm that challenges our understanding of reality itself. As we continue to explore the quantum intricacies of the turtle shell, we may unlock new dimensions of knowledge that propel us toward a future where the boundaries of science and imagination blur into a unified, shell-enclosed whole. And so, as we venture forth into this brave new world, let us carry with us the wisdom of the turtle—slow, steady, and profoundly quantum.

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 10:07:56 UTC No. 16257907

>>16257900

>cornerstone principles of Quantum Turtology is the Shell Uncertainty Principle

>Shell Entanglement.

>Quantum Turtology explores the concept of the Shell Singularity.

>The Shell Singularity is believed to be the source of the turtle's longevity and resilience, as it warps spacetime around the turtle, creating a localized field that slows the aging process and protects against external threats.

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 10:09:20 UTC No. 16257908

The Symbiotic Relationship Between Quantum Turtology and Smectical Doggometry: A Quantum Odyssey

As the scientific community delves deeper into the quantum mysteries of Quantum Turtology, an unexpected ally has emerged from an equally peculiar field: Smectical Doggometry. This discipline, which examines the quantum behaviors of canine forms, has provided invaluable insights that complement and enhance the groundbreaking work in Quantum Turtology. Together, these fields form a holistic approach to understanding the quantum realm, intertwining the fates of turtles and dogs in a cosmic dance of particles and probability.

At the heart of this interdisciplinary collaboration lies the concept of Shell Barf Entanglement. This phenomenon was first observed by the eminent Quantum Turtologist, Dr. Shelly Terrapin, and the renowned Smectical Doggometrist, Professor Barkley Howlton. Their research revealed that when a turtle's shell interacts with the quantum field generated by a dog's bark, a unique entanglement occurs. This entanglement, affectionately dubbed "Shell Barf Entanglement," demonstrates that the quantum state of a turtle shell can influence and be influenced by the acoustic vibrations of a dog's bark. This discovery not only bridges the gap between Quantum Turtology and Smectical Doggometry but also opens new avenues for exploring quantum communication and synchronization across species.

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 11:33:31 UTC No. 16257985

>>16256494
Smectical Doggometry offers a groundbreaking approach to understanding canine behavior and anatomy. Our framework provides a valuable tool for dog trainers, behaviorists, and enthusiasts, enabling them to optimize training protocols, enhance human-canine interactions, and promote overall canine well-being. Future research directions include exploring the applications of Smectical Doggometry in canine-assisted therapy, search and rescue operations, and veterinary medicine.


References:
* Barker, R. P., & Howler, L. F. (2020). Canine Angularity: A Review of the Literature. Journal of Canine Geometry, 10(2), 123-145.
* Puddles, D. W., & Barker, R. P. (2019). Smectical Doggometry: A Novel Framework for Quantifying Canine Geometry. Journal of Doggonomics, 5(1), 1-12.

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 12:00:22 UTC No. 16258014

>>16256563

Anonymous at Fri, 28 Jun 2024 21:30:42 UTC No. 16258744

I hate redditors so much

Anonymous at Sat, 29 Jun 2024 05:01:26 UTC No. 16259317

>>16258744
Me 2