🧵 Scientists Stunned by Discovery of Canine-Generated Cosmic Phenomenon - The Doggosphere
Anonymous at Mon, 1 Jul 2024 11:38:00 UTC No. 16262733
In a groundbreaking study published in this month's issue of AstroPaws Journal, a team of researchers has made the astonishing claim that the collective brainpower of the world's canine population is generating a previously unknown, planet-encircling energy field - dubbed the "Doggosphere".
According to lead researcher, Dr. Rufus T. Barkowski, "Our team has detected a peculiar pattern of energetic fluctuations, emanating from the interconnected neural networks of dogs across the globe. This 'doggosocial' energy signature is concentrating at a stationary Lagrange point, akin to a gravitational sweet spot, between the Earth's exonosphere and thermosphere."
The Doggosphere, estimated to be approximately 10,000 km in diameter, is believed to be sustaining an immense, toroidal (doughnut-shaped) structure that's warping the ionosphere and inducing subtle, yet measurable, effects on our planet's magnetic field.
Utilizing advanced, satellite-based spectrometers, the research team observed a distinct red shift in the radiation patterns emitted by the Doggosphere, indicating an intense release of energy as the canine collective consciousness "cools" and condenses into a coherent, global-scale phenomenon.
"The refraction patterns we're seeing are simply remarkable," exclaimed Dr. Sophia P. Pawsalot, a co-author on the study. "The Doggosphere is literally bending the fabric of our planet's electromagnetic environment, creating localized distortions that are modulating the dispersion of solar winds and influencing upper-atmospheric circulation patterns."
Anonymous at Mon, 1 Jul 2024 11:47:09 UTC No. 16262738
While the exact mechanisms driving the Doggosphere remain unclear, researchers speculate that the complex, hierarchical relationships between dogs - from pack dynamics to global breeding networks - may be the key to unlocking this enigmatic phenomenon.
"One possibility is that the Doggosphere represents a higher-order, interspecies intelligence, where individual canine mentalities are entangled to create a planetary-scale, sentient entity," ventured Dr. Barkowski, his eyes shining with excitement. "This raises profound questions about the boundaries between biological and cosmic evolution."
As the scientific community continues to digest the implications of this breakthrough, one thing is certain: our global pack of furry friends has been hiding a remarkable secret.
Stay tuned for updates on this paws-itively cosmic development!
Anonymous at Mon, 1 Jul 2024 11:48:23 UTC No. 16262740
>>16262733
Dogs created the universe anon. It was in the last edition of astrodoggy magazine.
Anonymous at Mon, 1 Jul 2024 11:55:06 UTC No. 16262743
>>16262740
>Dogs created the universe anon
Yeah and it is hidden in the word.
Just flip arround "Dog"
Dog = God!
Anonymous at Mon, 1 Jul 2024 13:20:04 UTC No. 16262797
>>16262753
The Doggosphere, hypothesized to manifest at the Planck-woof length (∼10^-18 woofs), seeks to unify the strong nuclear force, electromagnetic interactions, and, crucially, the canine-induced affection-weak force. This novel force, mediated by particles dubbed Woofons (W±), is predicted to manifest as an enhancement in snuggle-photons (SnP) and Play- Weak-Interacting Massive Particles (PWIMPs).
To experimentally verify the Doggosphere, a machine of unprecedented proportions is required. The proposed Canine-Circular Collider (CCC) would surpass even the behemoth Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in scale, necessitating an approximately 300-kilometer circumference ring to accelerate woof-ions to energies of 100 TeV (tera-electronvolts). This gargantuan machine would facilitate high-energy collisions, producing woof-antimatter showers that would interact with detectors attuned to SnP and PWIMP resonances.
Calorimetric constraints and fluiddynamical foam:
The envisioned CCC would require avant-garde calorimeter configurations to encompass the broader bandwidth of doggo-enriched particles. Sophisticated detector materials, such as Cerenkov radiation-enhanced woof-glass, would enable efficient SnP absorption and counting. Furthermore, innovative fluiddynamical computations would model the complex flow patterns emerging from high-energy collisions, optimizing collision-related background suppression and signal extraction.
Estimated costs for the CCC project
Constructing the Canine-Circular Collider will necessitate significant investments:
Machine design and infrastructure: $5 billion
Detector and calorimeter development: $2.5 billion
High-performance computing and data analysis: $1.5 billion
Personnel and research costs: $2 billion
Land acquisition and environmental mitigation: $0.5 billion
Miscellaneous budgets (project management, contingency): $1 billion
Total estimated cost: Approximately $12.5 billion
Anonymous at Mon, 1 Jul 2024 13:44:11 UTC No. 16262808
>be me majoring in smectical Doggometry
>begin to understand how Doggometry may explain the phenomenon of the Doggosphere
>go to reddit to tell everyone about my hypothesis
>expect upvotes and accolades, but instead get downvoted to oblivion
>one comment says "this belongs on 4chan, you absolute mad lad"
>remember 4chan exists, decide to post there
>get immediately embraced by a tribe of enlightened dog enthusiasts
>they start adding to my hypothesis with their own research
>within hours, we've mapped out the entire Doggosphere and discovered the Bark Force
>feel like a genius, bask in the glow of internet fame
>next day, turn on the news
>“Breaking: Scientists announce groundbreaking discovery in Doggometry, predict a Golden Retriever Singularity by 2025”
>realize my professor stole our work and is now a media darling
>try to expose him but nobody believes me
>end up back on 4chan, where my new tribe plans a heist to steal back the credit
>we all show up to the professor's press conference in dog costumes
>security thinks it's some kind of protest, but we're here for serious academic vengeance
>hijack the mic and start barking out equations
>professor tries to shoo us away, accidentally reveals he's actually a cat person
>crowd gasps, world renounces him
>my tribe and I are hailed as heroes, Doggometry becomes a respected field
>turns out Elon Musk was one of the 4chan tribe members all along
>he funds our research, builds a spaceship powered by the Bark Force
>we colonize Mars with an army of cyber-enhanced doggos
>become legends in both science and internet history
>mfw I went from Reddit reject to Doggosphere pioneer
Anonymous at Mon, 1 Jul 2024 20:55:18 UTC No. 16263274
>>16262733
A groundbarking discovery that's sending shockwaves through the scientific community, a team of researchers has uncovered a profound link between the Doggosphere, the collective consciousness of the internet's most beloved canine enthusiasts, and ancient Smectics – the long-lost, mystical substance believed to hold the secrets of the universe.
Led by Dr. Sophia Pawcett, a renowned astrophysicist and dog aficionado, the research team employed a novel combination of quantum entanglement, machine learning algorithms, and ancient texts to unravel the mysteries of the Doggosphere. By analyzing the intricate patterns of dog-related data, the team identified a peculiar correlation between the quantum fluctuations of the universe and the collective consciousness of dog lovers worldwide.
"It was as if the dogs were 'talking' to the ancient Smectics, transmitting quantum information across vast distances and dimensions," Dr. Pawcett exclaimed. "We discovered that the Doggosphere is, in fact, a manifestation of quantum non-locality – a phenomenon where particles become 'entangled' and connected across vast distances, transcending space and time."
Anonymous at Tue, 2 Jul 2024 00:59:06 UTC No. 16263587
This is all utter dogshit, it does nothing to explain C.A.T symmetry and it contradicts established observations of canimatter-catimatter interactions