🧵 TWO ATOMS WALK INTO A BAR
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 06:52:05 UTC No. 16422457
“Oh no,” said the first atom,
“I left an electron in the car.”
“Are you sure?” asked the other atom.
The first one replied, “I’m positive.”
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 06:52:47 UTC No. 16422458
“We don’t serve neutrinos here,” said the bartender.
A faster-than-light neutrino walks into a bar.
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 06:58:04 UTC No. 16422464
Werner Heisenberg was driving on a country road late one night when a police officer pulled him over.
“Do you know how fast you were going back there?!” the cop asked angrily. “You were going 90mph!”
Heisenberg asked: “Where am I?”
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 06:59:04 UTC No. 16422467
Q: Why can’t you trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything.
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 07:22:52 UTC No. 16422479
fags
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 09:31:07 UTC No. 16422546
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the gay bar and suck some cock."
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 11:30:54 UTC No. 16422617
A neutron goes into a convenience store to buy some gum.
"How much?" it asks as it places the gum in front of the cashier.
"For you," she says, "no charge!"
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 11:32:13 UTC No. 16422618
What do you do with dead chemists?
Barium!
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 11:44:40 UTC No. 16422625
What is the mathematicians' dessert of choice? Pi hahahaha
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 11:52:36 UTC No. 16422629
What's purple and commutes?
An Abelian grape
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 11:54:28 UTC No. 16422631
What's yellow and complete?
A Bananach space
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 11:56:04 UTC No. 16422632
What do you get if you take off that mask?
You get what you fucking deserve! *shoots you*
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 17:05:53 UTC No. 16423054
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 17:09:46 UTC No. 16423065
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 19:04:26 UTC No. 16423343
>>16423341
WHAT IS THE OTHER TYPE OF PEOPLE?????
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 19:05:51 UTC No. 16423345
Charlie was a chemist,
But Charlie is no more:
What Charlie thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 19:14:01 UTC No. 16423357
>>16423343
oh dear!
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 19:55:19 UTC No. 16423448
>>16422458
You mean a tachyon
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 20:14:08 UTC No. 16423487
>>16423461
What's his problem?
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 20:24:37 UTC No. 16423508
>>16423487
White people names
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 20:36:17 UTC No. 16423520
>>16423508
Frogs are green not white.
>>16423369
This can be streamlined to calcium tennesside.
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 21:35:21 UTC No. 16423598
>>16423508
He's freaking out over French names?
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 21:52:38 UTC No. 16423621
I'd tell an aeronautics joke, but it wouldn't land.
Anonymous at Sat, 12 Oct 2024 21:59:13 UTC No. 16423627
>>16423621
What are you? Boeing?
Anonymous at Sun, 13 Oct 2024 18:30:34 UTC No. 16429038
>>16423598
Maybe he has a seething, genocidal hatred of White people. That's pretty common these days.
Anonymous at Sun, 13 Oct 2024 20:40:53 UTC No. 16429365
>>16429038
If your name has lines or dots over the letters, you're not white.
Anonymous at Sun, 13 Oct 2024 21:23:46 UTC No. 16429483
>>16429365
Anglos call their kids zoë and chloë which makes Scots the only true Whites, as everyone always knew to be true
Anonymous at Sun, 13 Oct 2024 22:08:55 UTC No. 16429586
>>16429483
awrite Eòin
Anonymous at Sun, 13 Oct 2024 23:57:50 UTC No. 16429840
Why was the cult leader so good at video games?
He was on the next level.
Anonymous at Sun, 13 Oct 2024 23:59:53 UTC No. 16429844
C10H15NO3+2Li+2NH3>?
Anonymous at Mon, 14 Oct 2024 02:50:15 UTC No. 16430098
When Hydrogen U played Oxygen Tech,
The game had just begun,
When Hydrogen racked up two fast points,
And Oxygen still had none.
Then Oxygen scored a single goal,
And thus it did remain,
At Hydrogen 2 to Oxygen 1,
Called on account of rain.
(Stolen from Johnny Hart.)
Anonymous at Tue, 15 Oct 2024 01:15:34 UTC No. 16432162
What did the string theorists say to the quantum loop gravity theorists?
"Dark matter, dark energy? Pfft Try dark funding."