🗑️ 🧵 Untitled Thread
Anonymous at Wed, 9 Aug 2023 10:54:45 UTC No. 160810
In 2005, I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind a Ross Dress for Less. Man, his ass could grip. Real tight, not a hair on it, and a sphincter you could only dream of. I had fun at first. But he was so weirdly macho about it. He kept saying things like "thats right bitch, am I gonna make you nut?" and "fucking fag I bet you can't wait to bust in my fat hairy man ass hahaha faggot". I just ignored him and kept railing. He continued unironically calling me his bitch and a fag as he had several hands free prostate orgasms spilling seminal fluids onto the train tracks, getting more angry and dominant after each one. "Yea i bet you like dudes. You look like a pussy" he'd say "I cant even feel your limpdick bitch." I just kept clapping, wondering wtf is up with him. After about 20 minutes of railing Mike's boypussy, drenched in sweat and his cream, I finally got a nut off despite his constant berating and degrading comments. He immediately hopped off, laid flat on his back and bent his legs over his head so the cum dripped out of his asshole directly into his mouth. "The fuck you looking at? You like this gay boy?" He kept saying. After he got every last drop. He cackled like a rooster and punched me in the face as hard as he could. He nearly broke his hand, but I was fine. "Fucking fag" he said as he limped off into the sunset, shaking his wrist. That was the first and last time I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind the Ross Dress for Less
Anonymous at Wed, 9 Aug 2023 11:10:44 UTC No. 160811
this story doesn't seem very plausible to me, I think you made this story up to damage this man's reputation
Anonymous at Wed, 9 Aug 2023 15:37:41 UTC No. 160849
>>160811
I work at Ross dress for less by the train tracks. I watched the whole thing go down.
Anonymous at Thu, 10 Aug 2023 03:04:52 UTC No. 160930
>>160810
Did you go skating afterwards?
Anonymous at Thu, 10 Aug 2023 04:30:34 UTC No. 160934
can confirm this happened, after I saw what was happening I did a 360 boneless and walked away
Anonymous at Fri, 11 Aug 2023 21:02:41 UTC No. 161210
>>160810
As someone who doesn't browse /xs/ for the skating or martial arts threads, the random Mark Vallely hate threads crack me up so much
Anonymous at Fri, 11 Aug 2023 22:16:21 UTC No. 161223
>>161210
Mike V is a big time faggot. I'm sure i shared this before but in the early 2000s i was skating Hollywood High with some friends- we were at some smaller stair sets in the back not where the huge stair set where everyone films is.
I've ran into a lot of ams/ pros in those days and they've always been cool, the ones who weren't like Greco or a few others kinda just kept to themselves- but usually someone else in their crew would be cool with us so it was fine.
But i digest...
So we're skating and we see him and one of my friends was like "oh shit its Mike V" and like a little bitch - in a very whiney voice he goes "Yes its me Mike V, everyone just stop what you're doing and interrupt what I'm doing because I'm Mike fucking V. NO you can;'t have my board, NO you can't have my autograph, I'm just here to skate. GOT THAT?"
We kinda just gave him an "alright bro" and kept it moving- but because of that incident i couldn't fucking stand his ass
sage at Mon, 14 Aug 2023 18:25:54 UTC No. 161706
>>160810
Is this now /xs/'s resident copypasta? Wasn't this in some Mike V thread from like six months back?
Anonymous at Mon, 14 Aug 2023 21:31:36 UTC No. 161733
I could have sworn his name was Mike Valley. - Another common reply to this pasta.
Anonymous at Mon, 14 Aug 2023 21:39:25 UTC No. 161735
>>161706
No, that never happened. You’re going insane.
Anonymous at Mon, 14 Aug 2023 21:41:17 UTC No. 161736
>>161733
yeah thats what everyone called him back in the day cause his ass was turned into a valley from fucking and sucking guys behind the ross dress for less
Anonymous at Sat, 19 Aug 2023 21:24:05 UTC No. 162505
>>160849
can confirm i was the hobo that lived in the woods by the train tracks
Anonymous at Tue, 22 Aug 2023 03:31:04 UTC No. 162910
Good gusic OP
Anonymous at Thu, 24 Aug 2023 11:59:32 UTC No. 163299
>>161223
Sounds like
He did it in a douchey way but the man clearly just wants to be a normal
Nobody ... not some celebrity that has go deal with the hype and the fame...
Having people comstantly fanboy and compliment ya sucks
Anonymous at Tue, 29 Aug 2023 13:45:49 UTC No. 164204
>>163299
So true
Anonymous at Tue, 29 Aug 2023 15:24:36 UTC No. 164225
>>163299
Do a flip
Anonymous at Wed, 30 Aug 2023 19:06:34 UTC No. 164385
>>160810
classic
Anonymous at Sat, 2 Sep 2023 00:32:53 UTC No. 164702
>>160810
My friend met him at warped tour and he didn't realize it was Mike V until later. He showed up out of nowhere and started giving my friend "advice" about how the friends he thinks he has aren't really his friends. It sounded really cringeand dumb from what he told me.
Anonymous at Mon, 11 Sep 2023 01:04:31 UTC No. 166101
The only reason anyone ever gave a shit about this guy is because he beat up those lanklets in the CKY movie back in the day. Rewatching the video it looks like four dudes who don't want to fight trying to deescalate.
Anonymous at Mon, 11 Sep 2023 02:51:35 UTC No. 166112
>>166101
kek, i remember watching that video on youtube in the late 2000s. it'd always come up when you searched for street fights. i thought it was tough and badass. then many years later i watched it as an adult and realized it's just a sad grown man trying to attack some kids who clearly didn't want to fight.
Anonymous at Mon, 11 Sep 2023 12:40:07 UTC No. 166158
>>166101
>>166112
How a man became famous for hitting a bunch of dudes with their hands down and then acting like he was getting jumped I will never understand. They didn’t even approach him if you watch the full video. He, drunkenly and drinking milk, walks up to them before he starts windmilling his arms then acts like he won because they didn’t curb stomp him despite the fact that they probably could if they were actually interested in hurting him.
Anonymous at Mon, 18 Sep 2023 12:28:12 UTC No. 167406
>>166158
Bet he could kick your fucking ass
Anonymous at Mon, 18 Sep 2023 13:58:06 UTC No. 167415
>>167406
I bet not considering he gets immediately floored when facing people who fight back
https://youtu.be/uwDP8SeBgEs?featur
Anonymous at Tue, 19 Sep 2023 02:03:28 UTC No. 167476
>>167415
That was honestly luck, if it was fair in any sense, Mike would have won. So yes, he would be able to kick your fucking ass.
Anonymous at Tue, 19 Sep 2023 03:28:30 UTC No. 167483
>>167476
>it was just luck that Mike missed every shot he threw and then lost his balance after taking multiple hits to the head
lol, lmao. So are you a gen xer stuck in the past or a faggot who thinks pretending to be retarded is trolling?
Anonymous at Tue, 19 Sep 2023 05:09:59 UTC No. 167490
Just found out Mike V was in fucking Paul Blart
Anonymous at Tue, 19 Sep 2023 12:02:05 UTC No. 167520
>>167483
>luck never has any role in fights
Ask me how I know you've never been in a physical confrontation in your life
Anonymous at Tue, 19 Sep 2023 13:05:02 UTC No. 167529
>>167520
Lmao Go ahead and tell me faggot. Don’t take too long though I hear Mike v really needs you to wash his balls again.
Anonymous at Wed, 20 Sep 2023 10:10:10 UTC No. 167748
>>167529
Because Joe Pelle.used dirty fighting moves and that isn't representative of a good fight, the fact that you have to question that is a huge tell of your weakness
Anonymous at Wed, 20 Sep 2023 14:13:57 UTC No. 167772
>>167748
This is bait right? What dirty fighting moves did pell use?
Anonymous at Fri, 22 Sep 2023 00:37:05 UTC No. 168072
>>167772
Have you ever fought in your life or are you purposefully being disingenous because you know Mike would have won that fight in a landslide if there weren't dishonest tactics used against him.
Anonymous at Fri, 22 Sep 2023 00:51:10 UTC No. 168076
>>168072
Lmao, I see your a dedicated little slut considering it took you 34 full hours to finishing washing mikes balls.
Yes, I’ve fought in and out of the ring. I finished a judo class quite literally an hour ago. I’ve also been watching hockey since I was a kid. Please enlighten me as to what “dishonest tactics” joe pelle used. All I see if mike throwing a bunch of wild shots, none of which connect with their intended target, taking a bunch of punches to the head and then losing his balance and falling to the floor, breaking his own arm lol. I found out after posting that video that this was mikes first and only time on the ice. Pretty embarrassing lol.
Anonymous at Fri, 22 Sep 2023 01:07:23 UTC No. 168078
>>168076
I don't believe for a second a punk like you has ever stepped even a pinky toe into a ring, much less have had any sort of physical altercation with anyone, your fucking ass would get laid the fuck out.
Pelle was gripping up his jersey, angling himself to trip Vallely's skates, and even very quickly did an eye jab. Extremely pathetic showing. If Mike caught you and Pelle out in the streets, he would pick both of your pathetic little asses up, and slam you right down into the fucking pavement with one hand.
Anonymous at Fri, 22 Sep 2023 01:18:07 UTC No. 168081
>>168078
>I don't believe for a second a punk like you has ever stepped even a pinky toe into a ring, much less have had any sort of physical altercation with anyone, your fucking ass would get laid the fuck out.
I’ve posted my brown belt and some of my medals on this board before, keep coping though.
>Pelle was gripping up his jersey, angling himself to trip Vallely's skates, and even very quickly did an eye jab
Welcome to the ice, dipshit. Sorry your hero couldn’t hack it.
>If Mike caught you and Pelle out in the streets, he would pick both of your pathetic little asses up, and slam you right down into the fucking pavement with one hand
Lmfao, damn dude dude I’m terrified.
Imagine acting like a hardass while also complaining about jersey grabs and jabs in a fucking hockey fight.
Anonymous at Fri, 22 Sep 2023 02:12:43 UTC No. 168083
>>167406
Sup, Mike
Anonymous at Sat, 23 Sep 2023 13:24:06 UTC No. 168296
>>168081
>I’ve posted my brown belt and some of my medals on this board before, keep coping though.
Is this supposed to intimidate me? Did they hand out a medal for "World's Biggest Pansy?". It would be an honor and a blessing from God to see the smug smile wiped off your face after I gripped you up by your throat and slammed you down into the fucking dirt, snapping your spine half.
>Welcome to the ice, dipshit. Sorry your hero couldn’t hack it.
"Welcome to the ice" is not an excuse or justification for fighting like a coward.
>Lmfao, damn dude dude I’m terrified.
>Imagine acting like a hardass while also complaining about jersey grabs and jabs in a fucking hockey fight
Saying it's a hockey fight doesn't absolve Pelle from being a gigantic pussy, and it doesn't for you either. I guess your brown belt was earned through hockey fights, or whatever other dirty tactics you utilize. I would even go so far as to wager that you stole it, considering you come across as an incredibly impotent weakling.
Anonymous at Sun, 24 Sep 2023 01:41:29 UTC No. 168375
>>168296
>Is this supposed to intimidate me?
You asked me about it you retarded faggot
>It would be an honor and a blessing from God to see the smug smile wiped off your face after I gripped you up by your throat and slammed you down into the fucking dirt, snapping your spine half.
Lmfao are you going to tell me you’re a navy seal with over 500 confirmed kills next?
>Welcome to the ice" is not an excuse or justification for fighting like a coward.
Grabbing jerseys, jabbing with the gripping hand, and pulling people around are staples of hockey fighting lol. In fact, it’s so common to pull peoples jerseys over their heads and punch them while they can’t see that people call it getting jerseyed.
>Saying it's a hockey fight doesn't absolve Pelle from being a gigantic pussy, and it doesn't for you either
Well then I guess vallely got his ass kicked by a pussy. What’s that make him?
>I guess your brown belt was earned through hockey fights, or whatever other dirty tactics you utilize. I would even go so far as to wager that you stole it, considering you come across as an incredibly impotent weakling
Lmfao I’m getting baited right? You can’t possibly be serious.
Also if there was a martial art school where I could get a black belt in hockey fighting I’d sign up in a heartbeat.
Anonymous at Sun, 24 Sep 2023 03:50:50 UTC No. 168382
>>168296
You sound like a bitch
Anonymous at Sun, 24 Sep 2023 11:20:57 UTC No. 168453
>>168375
>>168382
>Resorting to samefagging so he can make his argumemt look stronger.
Is this really where we're at now?
>You asked me about it you retarded faggot
No I didn't. I said you never have had any physical altercations, I didn't ask for your phony stats.
>Lmfao are you going to tell me you’re a navy seal with over 500 confirmed kills next?
Nope, however I was a CSO under MARSOC
>Grabbing jerseys, jabbing with the gripping hand, and pulling people around are staples of hockey fighting lol. In fact, it’s so common to pull peoples jerseys over their heads and punch them while they can’t see that people call it getting jerseyed.
See, now you're getting close to my point. What are you not comprehending? Hockey fights are inherently for pussies. They must have been designed by a woman. Any real fighter is embarrassed at hockey's rendition of fighting.
>Well then I guess vallely got his ass kicked by a pussy. What’s that make him?
That makes zero sense. Of course Vallely lost when he tried to fight like an honest man against a scumbag who has to use dishonest and dirty tactics.
>Lmfao I’m getting baited right? You can’t possibly be serious.
>Also if there was a martial art school where I could get a black belt in hockey fighting I’d sign up in a heartbeat
So you would want a token of how much of a frail pussy you are that you can't fight like a fucking man?
Anonymous at Sun, 24 Sep 2023 14:46:43 UTC No. 168495
>>168072
>have you ever fought in your life?
>>168453
>hurr durr I didn’t ask
You’ve got a short memory lol
>Nope, however I was a CSO under MARSOC
In my experience people who actually did shit in the military arent so insecure that they anonymously type up cringe paragraphs about how they’d totally break someone’s spine on the internet lol. Surely you can substantiate that you actually served by taking a picture of something with a time stamp, right?
>Hockey fights are inherently for pussies. They must have been designed by a woman. Any real fighter is embarrassed at hockey's rendition of fighting.
Then why did Mike try (and fail) to become a hockey enforcerer then? He must have wanted to be a womanly pussy according to you.
>Of course Vallely lost when he tried to fight like an honest man against a scumbag who has to use dishonest and dirty tactics.
Lmao, vallely gripped pelles jersey too does it not count when he does it? If he knew what he was getting into how is it dishonest? This is like signing up for a Muay Thai fight and then complaining that the opponent kicked you instead of using his fists like a man.
> So you would want a token of how much of a frail pussy you are that you can't fight like a fucking man?
Describe to me what tactics are honest and manly and which ones are feminine and for pussies
Anonymous at Wed, 27 Sep 2023 01:13:20 UTC No. 169189
>>168453
post body
Anonymous at Wed, 25 Oct 2023 17:11:47 UTC No. 173364
>>160810
Last night I had a dream where I had to face Mike v in a hockey fight. I was nervous at first since I’m not a great ice skater but to my surprise before we even gripped up Mike fell to the floor and broke his thumb. He then proceeded to start crying. I honestly felt kinda bad for him.
Then I woke up and remembered this thread.
Anonymous at Wed, 22 Nov 2023 10:53:59 UTC No. 176604
Anonymous at Fri, 22 Dec 2023 20:50:31 UTC No. 180646
>>168453
Come back and defend Mike V some more
Anonymous at Thu, 1 Feb 2024 12:24:20 UTC No. 185048
>>160810
I miss the mfer whatever happened to this gay boy?
Anonymous at Thu, 1 Feb 2024 20:23:00 UTC No. 185090
2 mike v threads on the front page. is this based or cringe
Anonymous at Thu, 1 Feb 2024 23:12:49 UTC No. 185128
>>185090
Cringe, there should be at least 5