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🧵 /sumo/ - Off-Basho General

Anonymous No. 191535

Takerufuji edition

>Schedule:
https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnTicket/year_schedule/

>Banzuke:
http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspx

>All the sumo links and how to watch live:
https://rentry.org/uwbgc88d

Previous thread: >>186986

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Anonymous No. 191538

ig I can’t be too salty at this outcome history was made and this was one of the clowniest basho ever this tops abi’s yusho and keisho’s 11-4 for funniest basho. At least takerufuji is Japanese I expected 11-4 like other rookies but the perfect shit storm happened.

110 years

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Anonymous No. 191540

incoming autistic nigger meltdown for making a thread early.

Anonymous No. 191544

>>191535
new thread? last thread wasn't even at page 10

Anonymous No. 191546

>>191544
Is this the fabled autistic nigger meltdown? Honestly I'm a little underwhelmed, I thought it would be more niggardly and autistic

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Anonymous No. 191547

Anime

Anonymous No. 191548

>5 posts in
>already 3 images in
NO NO NO NO!!!! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!!!!!!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Anonymous No. 191549

give me some english sumo yt channels worth following

Anonymous No. 191552

>>191538
Same. I appreciated this tournament. A shame Terunofuji couldn't make it but other than that, we got a lot of positives.

Kotonowaka/Kotozakura did well in his first tournament as ozeki and reinforced that he deserves the rank.
Oho did much, much better than I thought he would do in his first time in the joi, as did Hiradoumi.
Onosato still hasn't hit his ceiling.

And of course, witnessing history. I doubt we'll ever see anything like that again.

Anonymous No. 191554

>>191549
There aren’t any, just learn japanese

Anonymous No. 191556

>>191549
SUMO PRIME TIME

>>191535
good OP

>>191538
9/10 basho for sure, we just need to add a couple of functioning yokozuna

>>191544
never a problem for slow boards, we can even have 3 threads

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Anonymous No. 191560

>Hokuseiho out
>Tochimusashi propably getting kicked out aswell
Good riddance to both of them

Anonymous No. 191561

Chances of a myogiryu retirement?

Anonymous No. 191562

>>191560
>Tochimusashi propably getting kicked out aswell
Can I get a QRD on this?

Anonymous No. 191564

>>191562
Apparently Tochimusashi was bullying Tochikamiyama, so 'kamiyama ran away (kyujo this basho) and Kasugano-oyakata handed his intai papers in order to swipe the whole thing under the rug but media got hunch of it from someone (propably 'kamiyamas relative). Kasugano has been under the fire for several times so lets see are they finally going to kick him out.

Anonymous No. 191565

>>191561
>Chances of a myogiryu retirement?
Slim, I'd say.

Endo, Kitanowaka, and Shimazuumi are all ahead of him in the demotion queue; while only 8-7 J1e Tokihayate, 12-3 J2w Mitoryu, and 11-4 J4w Oshoma have strong promotion cases.

Is a 6-9 from M15e less impressive than Takarafuji's 8-7 from J1w? I'm not sure.

Even if they do swap him out, though, I think he'd stick around until he fell out of juryo. Collect a few more paychecks.

On the other hand, I think we might have seen the last of Endo. He does not strike me as someone interested enough in sumo to bother with juryo. It's been a long time since he's looked like his heart was in it.

Anonymous No. 191566

>>191564
Damn. I did not hear about that. How bad do you think it has to get before the stable system is reformed. (Not wholly abandoned, just updated.)

Anonymous No. 191592

>>191566
Never, those who object to the status quo are ostracised, then removed.

Anonymous No. 191597

>>191566
it will never be reformed as the people most able to reform it have the least reason and the least desire to do so

Anonymous No. 191598

>>191566
Stuff like this is always going to happen whenever you have a communal living situation, and the only alternative to that is to have everyone live on their own which is only financially viable for sekitori. The only things they could do other than that are to a) mandate a set amount of time as a junior elder before they're allowed to open stables, which would piss off every future yokozuna and ozeki, and b) continue to snuff out the bad apples, which they could do a better job of doing but is a constant process.

Anonymous No. 191599

>>191598
let's stop it with the reductionism and admit that there's a qualitative difference between roughness of lifestyle and someone trying to undo an elbow reconstruction surgery. Them being testosterone-filled competitive males does not suddenly make it impossible to discipline them for misbehaving. It isn't impossible to reform the system such that bullying is less severe, it simply will not happen because it doesn't present concrete benefits for stablemasters. It has nothing to do with a fictional inevitability of bullying in communal stable life.

Anonymous No. 191600

>>191599
>Them being testosterone-filled competitive males does not suddenly make it impossible to discipline them for misbehaving
I'm not saying that retard, I literally said they should do a better job of it, I'm saying that bullying is going to happen in any communal living arrangement. That doesn't mean it shouldn't be punished when it happens, but it does mean that doomposting every single time an incident happens is retarded. Kasugano and Miyagino aren't retarded because bullying happened in their respective stables, they're retarded because they ignored it and tried to cover it up instead of dealing with it, that's the part to focus on.

Anonymous No. 191603

The samurai already solved this issue, it's modern Japan that has forgotten its traditions
The lower ranks must pleasure the higher ranks

Anonymous No. 191604

Just wanted to say that, even if I didn't like the basho outcome, the ultimate musubi-no-ichiban did deliver. Very good bout.
Any reason KiriSHITma didn't perform like that the whole tournament?

Anonymous No. 191606

>>191604
He was fighting injured, and couldn't go kyujo because of restrictions placed on injured wrestlers (thanks Asashoryu) meaning he would've been forced to miss his retiring stablemaster's retirement party.

Anonymous No. 191613

kotoeko... owari da...

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Anonymous No. 191617

>>191544
We own this board

Anonymous No. 191618

>>191600
>they're retarded because they ignored it and tried to cover it up
This.

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Anonymous No. 191621

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202403240001499.html

There it is. Kirishima:
>I hurt my neck before the basho and couldn't do any training at all.
>I really wanted to win my last match if nothing else.
>The training for the next basho starts today!

Anonymous No. 191624

https://www.sanspo.com/article/20240324-EMIMKEGKINOINBT762YFMINBFU/

Also, according to "an insider", the figures involved have changed their minds - Miyagino and his Merry Men are now going to Isegahamabeya instead.
I presume this is in some way connected to the circumstances of Asakayama saying "I can't speak against their decision" when asked about it back then. The article notes the logistical problem of lodging and on-boarding 20 men to a stable of 12.

Anonymous No. 191626

>>191554
Or just go through life blackout drunk and fake your way through it like Ichinojo

Anonymous No. 191627

>>191549
https://www.youtube.com/@chrissumo69/videos

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Anonymous No. 191630

>>191544
>old thread on page 9
SO EARLY I'M GOING INSANE

TASUKETE MONGOL BROTHERHOOD

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Anonymous No. 191631

>>191565
they could drop Tsurugisho 2-3-10 out. hasn't happened recently, but there was some banzuke luck in the other cases

Anonymous No. 191634

>>191624
Great now hakuoho will be in roids too

Anonymous No. 191637

>>191621
>rather get put through the top division meet grinder injured than take a kyujo
He ain’t be ozeki for long he will share the same fate with mita

Anonymous No. 191639

>>191634
>Hakuoho on roids
:)
>won't fight Takerufuji, Midorifuji, Atamifuji, Terunofuji, etc. because same stable
:(

Anonymous No. 191640

>>191639
More like he won't fight them because his bitch ass is still in Juryo.

Anonymous No. 191641

>>191640
>his bitch ass is still in Juryo.
And will continue there. He has already been solved.

Anonymous No. 191642

>>191639
It's supposed to be temporary only until Hakuho is a Good Boy again, as they always remind us, so it should be fine. No recurrence of 90s Futagoyama or 20s Dewanoumi.

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Anonymous No. 191645

Futogoyama has idols now.

Anonymous No. 191647

>>191645
wasn't she simping for Isegahama?

Anonymous No. 191648

>>191647
Was she? Fickle whore....

Anonymous No. 191651

>>191642
>20s Dewanoumi
What's the story there?

Anonymous No. 191652

>>191621
>Ozeki and Yokozuna injured

Shodai is the only one who managed to be in the higher rankings for a long time without injuries in the last few years.

Anonymous No. 191655

>>191642
>>191651
That wasn't as bad because that was still when it was east vs west, so they just put all the Dewanoumi guys on the same side of the banzuke anyway.

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Anonymous No. 191656

>>191651
Hitachiyama left an insane legacy behind him as a recruiting god.

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Anonymous No. 191657

>>191652
>being shit to not get injured
this was the plan bitch, now suckle my shodai

Anonymous No. 191658

>>191656
Ah, gotcha. Thought it was referring to scandal. Thank you.

Anonymous No. 191661

>>191656
I can't believe Onosato has been in the top division for 95 years. Got to be some sort of record.

Anonymous No. 191668

>>191658
The stable was involved in a scandal a couple of years after that, funnily enough

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shunjuen_Incident

Anonymous No. 191673

>>191668
justice for Tenryuu

Anonymous No. 191674

>>191668
Commie bastards.

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Anonymous No. 191676

Here's another angle of OP pic

Anonymous No. 191677

>>191676
Takeru's ankles are gonna snap in the future, aren't they?

Anonymous No. 191678

>>191676
Those ankles are never going to last.

Anonymous No. 191680

>>191676
goiteryama has quickly become one of the rikishi i always want to lose, alongside abi and abi 2.0 (downgrade)
>>191677
>>191678
Once you have an ankle injury like that, it becomes ridiculously easy to reinjure. he can just tape it up and be fine though.

Anonymous No. 191686

>>191680
Why? Gounoyama's done nothing wrong

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Anonymous No. 191687

>>191680
You just rustled gonorilla’s jimmies

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Anonymous No. 191688

>>191687
>>191686
for one, i feel he had the same peak autismo retard energy abi has. mix that with an inflated sense of ego for his skill level. showed the same thing against hoshoryu that takayasu and hokutofuji would show facing hakuho.
like chill bro, you aren't his level. the 21(-1) -2 record is there for all to see takayasu

Anonymous No. 191690

>>191688
>showed the same thing against hoshoryu ... chill bro, you aren't his level
Didn't they go to high school together? That's not the same thing.

Anonymous No. 191693

Onosato now has a few shots at great Takerufuji's record for quickest makuuchi yusho after debuting, will he do it?

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Anonymous No. 191694

What was the deal with Takerufuji twirling his hand in the air during the match on day 15, was he showing off or something?

Anonymous No. 191695

Kotonowaka has announced he will take shikona of his grandfather, the 53rd Yokozuna Kotozakura,from Natsu basho.

here we go; burden got a bit more heavier

Anonymous No. 191696

>>191693
he'll have a better rank than M17, meaning tougher competition

Anonymous No. 191698

>>191696
Onosato will probably be komusubi next time around, not that it should make much of a difference, he has already demonstrated his ability to beat joi and sanyaku level competition.
I wonder if his 11 win M5 basho is high enough to count towards ozeki promotion, he certainly fought a sanyaku tier schedule

Anonymous No. 191699

>>191694
It looks like Gounoyama pushed his arm outward right before he did that, so maybe it tweaked/hurt his forearm somehow and he instinctively shook it as he tried to makikae?

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Anonymous No. 191700

>>191699
Here's the frame. He does still have his right hand on Gounoyama's belt as Gounoyama is pushing his elbow out, he definitely tweaked something.

Anonymous No. 191701

>>191695
what a retarded decision to wait for the name change, should have done it right away.

Anonymous No. 191702

>>191701
Why was it a bad decision? I see no issue with honoring your father.

Anonymous No. 191704

>>191701
Think how much the "Ozeki Kotonowaka" merch is going to be worth on eBay if he retires as a Yokozuna.

Anonymous No. 191705

>>191702
>honoring
showing up

Anonymous No. 191709

>>191705
Pretty sure his dad was at the presser where he announced that, and said he was grateful for it.

Anonymous No. 191710

>>191698
No. It should be M3 and above, I think.

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Anonymous No. 191714

This basho left some very SOVL moments I'd say.

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Anonymous No. 191726

>>191695
KOTOZAKURA WILL BLOOM
BULL OF THE DAHYO RETURNS

Anonymous No. 191729

>>191726
He will just have to defeat the Isegahama gang of Midorifuji, Terunofuji, Hokutofuji, Atamifuji, and Takerufuji

Anonymous No. 191730

>>191729
i hope JSA won't decide on isegahama taking over the miyagino beya... 6 sekitori from same heya is qutie a lot already.

Anonymous No. 191731

>>191730
Not like ANY Miyagino boy is even near Makuuchi. Hakuoho has been solved.

Anonymous No. 191732

I'm kinda sick of watching sumo by myself. I somehow got my father to watch it with me, he enjoyed it the last two tournaments even if we didn't watch the whole thing together, but he's very "If I can't space out watching whatever bullshit that I don't like on TV and actively bitch about, you're inconveniencing me and I won't even pretend you're in the room with me". Tried getting my friends to give it a shot but only one was receptive but he won't watch it on his own (so he's not really interested) and he won't watch it with me (not good enough to spend social time for I guess). What do? Been watching sumo since I was in high school, early 20s now.

Anonymous No. 191734

>>191732
Use your sumo training and superior bulk to force people to watch it with you. You have been doing your sumo training, haven't you?

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Anonymous No. 191735

>>191734
Of c-c-course I have, a-anon! I'm on the straight and narrow of sumo, after all!
>5'9 250lb wannabe powerlifter with 22" shoulders and a gut

Anonymous No. 191736

>>191735
>Takakeisho height
it's over

Anonymous No. 191737

>>191732
we arent good enough for you anon?

Anonymous No. 191738

>>191736
I prefer to think of it as Hiradoumi height. Takayasu is my favorite competing rikishi though. I want Enho to return and have one last good run before dying during a match when a 500lb dude falls on him.

>>191737
I love you anons but I need someone on my couch with me, or at least over some kind of vc. I dont have a lot of "real" social interaction.

Anonymous No. 191739

>>191729
Hokutofuji is from Hakkaku, Takarafuji is Isegahama, he should be back in macuuchi since he got KK at J1

Anonymous No. 191741

>took a break from sumo since January
>read the thread a little bit
>read the wikipedia page on Miyagino-beya
>read the past two /xs/ threads
Holy SHIT.

Anonymous No. 191742

>>191741
>>read the past two /xs/ threads
Dunno why you'd need to get caught up on a full year but okay.

Anonymous No. 191743

>>191732
Hire an escort.

>I lied
>I don't want to have sex
>Put your clothes back on
>Hokutofuji is drinking the power water.

Anonymous No. 191747

>>191732
My dad watches the top division highlights on NHK world but that's it. Obviously he won't stay up till the crack of dawn to watch it live, but he also won't watch replays in the morning while avoiding social media like I do. Twitter addict.

Anonymous No. 191749

>>191743
Autistically explaining belt grabs to some whore would be extremely fun.

>>191747
That's nice, I'm glad you can share something with your father. Getting him to watch one replay was like pulling teeth so I stopped bothering. He hasn't brought it up so he obviously didn't really give a shit despite telling me he did. Unfortunately my old man is the kind of guy who refuses to participate in something somebody else likes no matter what. Unless he like it, it doesn't exist. If he does, it's all that matters. Sumo is the former and not the latter.

Anonymous No. 191752

>>191732
I watch it with my mum. At first she was just curious why I'm watching it, after some explanations she tried watching it with me and she liked it.

Anonymous No. 191753

>>191752
lol my mom saw me watching sumo and thought it was beyond bizarre, then she told all her friends i was gay after she saw I was watching the Mr Olympia my senior year of high school. The posters on my wall of bodybuilders and athletes probably didn't help either.

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Anonymous No. 191754

>>191753

Anonymous No. 191755

>>191726
Arizona green tea

Anonymous No. 191756

>>191754
I should also add that she questioned me on the bodybuilding thing. She couldn't get it. So when I tried to explain it to her all she focused on was their dicks. I'm not kidding. "WOW LOOK AT THAT ONE! IT'S STICKING OUT PAST HIS THIGHS! THAT NIGGER IS HUNG!" You know, instead of the fact that he's 5'10 and 260lbs at -% bodyfat.

Anonymous No. 191757

>>191749
Autistically explaining sumo to my fiancée somehow worked. She doesn't care nearly as much as I do, but she does occasionally get hyped during a match when someone almost goes out of the ring and recovers. The way she picks her favorite rikishi is pretty typically female. She just cheers on whoever has the "cutest" kesho-mawashi. Her current favorite is Takanosho because his has a dog on it on the JSA website. She calls him "doge boy". Guess it's better than nothing.

Anonymous No. 191758

>>191756
I don't get it either. Pretty gay, desu.

Anonymous No. 191759

>>191756
Let's be realistic here, bodybuilding is a beauty pageant for men and the homoerotic subtext has long since become a regular text. There is no way to explain an interest in bodybuilding without admitting that you admire men's bodies.

Anonymous No. 191763

>>191759
I agree that it has a homoerotic subtext. I say that there is nothing inherently gay about admiring another man's body. It can be gay. I've met dudes who make it unnecessarily gay. But by itself it is simple admiration of hard work. I don't like what bodybuilding has become for the most part. Especially men's open.

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Anonymous No. 191766

yeah i'm thinking they're both future 'zuna

Anonymous No. 191767

>>191766
Takerufuji is juiced to the gills you couldn’t even see his neck during his interview

Anonymous No. 191768

>>191710
I doubt its as rigid as that, they'll look at his record and over the last week he faced off against nothing but sanyaku and the eventual basho winner and that he had a winning record over that week. Arguably Onosato fought a more difficult schedule than the sanyaku guys since he was never matched up against Nishitigi or Kirishitma

Anonymous No. 191769

>>191767
If everyone is juiced, no one is

Anonymous No. 191775

>>191735
>referencing shoulder measurements
its over for you. have the dyel mindset

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Anonymous No. 191776

and you could have it all

Anonymous No. 191777

>>191776
>Hakuhou: I will let you down
>Hokuseihou: I will make you hurt

Anonymous No. 191786

>>191776
>That time when Hokuseihou prank'd the stable by gluing everyone together

Anonymous No. 191789

>>191767
Anabolic steroids are 100% legal in Japan, and we don't know of any testing for them by the NSK, so there's no reason he shouldn't be.

Anonymous No. 191794

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4oXH-auCMc

Anonymous No. 191795

>>191766
kotozakura and hoshoryu will keep them From it they are too throwable

Anonymous No. 191796

>>191775
I only brought it up to emphasize that I am a barrel with legs and short gator arms. I don't actually care. Though I did tell my friends I would trade inches in height for inches in width because being a literal dwarf would be fun.

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Anonymous No. 191801

>>191796
Based Devito.

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Anonymous No. 191802

>>191801
西ぃぃぃ、出火勝ぅぅぅ

Anonymous No. 191803

>>191802
how is rikinojo so good...

Anonymous No. 191806

>>191803
I think he's one of the few - including Kunio of course - with actual vocal training.

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Anonymous No. 191807

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rSNXXs0yf4

Here's Rikinojou on the drums.

Anonymous No. 191816

Kisebeya posted a video of them building dohya in Osaka. Their yobidashi was doing all the measuring and stuff; i was quite surprised they know this stuff and obviously have been trained for it. It's not just spit-buckets they're taking care of.

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Anonymous No. 191817

>>191816
Funfact, when the yobis are pounding the clay into place, they say "yoisho!" with every pound. A thousand little yobi yoisho go into every dohyo so that the yokozuna can get his big yoisho from the crowd.

Anonymous No. 191819

>>191816
Have you seen this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s3yiI0odU4

Anonymous No. 191820

>>191819
thanks, didn't know about the receptacles for chikaramizu

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Anonymous No. 191821

>Takerufuji: To be honest, I don't really like sumo.
This is actually real, he says it at 10:45

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u97NMLWLtlA

Anonymous No. 191824

>>191821
Think he just meant because he got hurt. Like, "Man it's times like these that really make me hate this job." I doubt he thought anything of the sort when he got the macaron.

Anonymous No. 191827

>>191824
The question asked was something to the effect of
>A month ago, before the basho you said that, of "shingitai", "shin" was the most important. For how long have you [held that opinion]?
And he replied that, as humans, we all have things we need to receive from other people, that he doesn't really like sumo, but that all the people who support him and cheer him on provide him the happiness which has always spurred him to continue wrestling even through his terrible injury (injuries?). That was the context of him saying it.

Anonymous No. 191829

>>191821
chiyonofuji did not like sumo as well and became daiyokozuna.

Anonymous No. 191830

>>191829
I hadn't heard that. Source?

Anonymous No. 191831

>>191830
he didn't say 'don't like sumo' per se, but the shin was not there in the beginning.

https://fpcj.jp/wp/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/1819.pdf

There was another 1 or 2 sources where I read about him saying he wasn't really into sumo and basically started late compared to others, but don't have it bookmarked.

Anonymous No. 191832

>>191821
Being good at something doesn't mean you have to like it. Plenty of wrestlers I knew hated the sport even though they were good enough to be ranked. Training is hard, ling, and everything hurts all the time.
I hated football myself even though I started 3 years as RG at a D1A school and have a bowl win. The games were great, it was everything else that blew.

Anonymous No. 191838

how does stable recruiting work?
are they just watching who has potential in high school and ask the guy to join the stable?

Anonymous No. 191841

>>191838
That's basically what the Futagoyama boys have said, but I don't have any other sources on that.

Anonymous No. 191843

>>191838
There's also money involved, and scouts, and unofficial agreements, but that's the gist of it.

Anonymous No. 191844

>>191838
Oyakatas will typically have a good relationship with a handful of principals and school coaches, and visit those schools or their local tournaments to keep an eye on upcoming talent. They most likely encourage their wrestlers to reach out to old school kouhais and extol the virtues of joining a stable, and of course someone who wants a career in sumo can just get in touch with an oyakata directly and ask to come in for a trial.

Anonymous No. 191847

>>191838
Basically, I know there's some exceptions like the Kakuryu first recruits shot him an e-mail and then he went to see them

Anonymous No. 191850

>>191794
I can't tell if they're really being mean or if the guy is just hamming it up for the audience.

Anonymous No. 191851

>>191850
Neither? That's a pretty typical public chest lending session from what I've seen. And butsukari is fucking hard, so the guy is legitimately gassed.

Anonymous No. 191852

>>191850
Also, I wanted to share it because seeing Takanoyama kick him made me lol.

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Anonymous No. 191855

>>191852
based Takanoyama enjoyer

Anonymous No. 191859

>>191838
In the past it used to be more common to just show up at a stable and ask to join.

Anonymous No. 191860

>>191642
Yeah the plan is likely to let Hakuho break off and form his own stable again in a couple years when the likely heyagashira (Hakuoho) has some more sumo experience.

Anonymous No. 191864

I'm currently watching day 4 of the basho but I must say that I'm liking Takerufuji. I'm excited to see how he does in the rest of the days.

Anonymous No. 191875

>>191864
CHOKErufuji

Anonymous No. 191882

>>191864
Sounds like another bright prospect that will get slapped down by a Sekiwake and will live the rest of his days as a mid maegashira who will get a 8-7 at best

Anonymous No. 191892

How quickly is the new banzuke written? As in, is there a cutoff where if someone announces their retirement, they can be removed and the rankings adjusted accordingly?

Anonymous No. 191895

>>191892
The sekitori and ozeki announcements are made on the wednesday after each basho (so today likely in a few hours for this one) so I assume the banzuke meeting is either that morning or the day before.

Anonymous No. 191900

>>191859
Like that random 23 year old guy that recently joined Arashio beya without ANY sumo or judo experience claiming he wanted to try before regretting never licing the life and Arashio Oyakata liking his attitude and taking him in.

Also reminder that skill on the dohyo doesn't translate to being a good oyakata and that (old) Miyagino was a perma juryo shitter with a SINGLE makuuchi basho.

Anonymous No. 191909

Who’s getting the other K slot ?

Anonymous No. 191910

>>191909
Onosato.

Anonymous No. 191918

Did they take a picture of Takerufuji with his Seabream yet?

Anonymous No. 191919

Juryo promotions announced:
Onokatsu
Tsukahara (who will now go by Tochitaikai)
Kazekeno
Chiyomaru

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Anonymous No. 191920

How long till he hits ozeki?

Anonymous No. 191922

>>191920
3 at minimum unless he pulls some crazy 15-0 beat terunofuji on the last day for the cup level yusho.
he could be quick if he learns to settle. he only lost to hoshoryu each time because he got excited and over extended. learning that will determine how long. Basically the same thing kotonowaka had to learn

Anonymous No. 191926

>>191920
I hope soon.
Can't stand Fraudshoryu, Kirishitma and Titozakura.

Anonymous No. 191927

>>191926
>Hasn't gone make-koshi in over two years.
>Fraudshoryu
The fuck is your problem with Nephew?

Anonymous No. 191929

>>191926
Hoshoryu and Kotozakura are the only two that have over 60 wins (tied at 62) over the past 6 basho, so they are doing well enough as ozeki.

Anonymous No. 191931

>>191920
he needs 22 wins combined in may and july

Anonymous No. 191932

>>191931
Eh... sort of. He would also need to be Sekiwake in July. And with 4 Ozeki already, he'll probably need to wait until September at minimum unless he gets a cup since he was M5 in March.

Anonymous No. 191939

I wish there was full basho footage from 50+ years ago when rikishi were considered big at 175cm & 120kg.

Assuming a baseline skill, the bouts are just more interesting when the men aren't super obese and tire out instantly or are constantly injured (and thus even more defensive).

I guess what I'm saying is: I hate hugging sumo (which nowadays seems like 50% of bouts).

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Anonymous No. 191940

>>191939
>I wish there was full basho footage from 50+ years ago when rikishi were considered big at 175cm & 120kg.
There is, you just have to pay for it. Here's one playlist.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGbh7k1KcL3lt2orLtO4koXzOZhS--SI0

These archives are clearly incomplete but I think it's a matter of completing the work rather than the availability of the materials. They've been adding more basho to it slowly for years.
Also, the ones without the green text on the right are free to watch, so you can check those out now.

Anonymous No. 191943

>>191939
>I hate hugging sumo
You hate sumo.

Anonymous No. 191944

>>191940
How many basho would you reckon are on there?

Anonymous No. 191946

>>191927
He’s a dick.
>wins looks pissed off
>loses looks pissed off
Not to mention he got promoted to Ozeki with 2 fusensho wins and a stolen win from Tobizaru.

Anonymous No. 191947

>>191946
He normally wears glasses. He's not pissed off, he's just squinting....

Anonymous No. 191949

business idea: 2v2 sumo

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Anonymous No. 191950

I made a webm.

Anonymous No. 191952

>>191949
Traditional tag-team or tornado style?

Anonymous No. 191955

>>191946
>he got promoted to Ozeki with 2 fusensho
For the thousandth time, this is not and never has been something considered in the promotion criteria. Asanoyama also had 2 fusen, and so did Tamanoumi 60 years ago.
The NSK is of the (correct) opinion that a wrestler has no control over what his opponent does - he cannot be punished for the actions of others.

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Anonymous No. 191961

>>191946
So you're saying anyone who gets promoted to ozeki with 2 fusensho wins is a fraud?

Anonymous No. 191962

Based Chris is FIRED UP about the Kasugano/Miyagino double standard on violence

He's nearly screaming about the injustice!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2N2Bq49LMc

Anonymous No. 191966

>>191962
Fuck off

Anonymous No. 191969

How tf is Ichiyamamoto as high as he is? I swear I never see the guy win. He's got those skinny, flabby arms and has considerably less upper and lower body strength than his peers. I guess he was just built for spam.

Anonymous No. 191970

>>191962
You're not as funny as you think you are

Anonymous No. 191971

>>191969
Just good enough to be better than juryo, not good enough for more.

Anonymous No. 191972

>>191962
I fucking hate these old fags so much it's unreal, hope they all die from colon cancer already.

Anonymous No. 191984

>>191969
Don’t diss my boy ichiyamamoto like that

Anonymous No. 191986

>>191969
Because of retirements and injuries, you can get by in makuuchi with a less-than-50% winrate. Some wrestlers such as Takarafuji spent years in the top division with winrates hovering around 40%. Ichiyamamoto has a good tournament once every 3 basho or so and the other two he does just well enough that he doesn't slide out of makuuchi.

Anonymous No. 191987

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH_XD-V6ccA

I just went through the last thread and this video had me loling. I'm a big pro wrestling fan so this really reminded me of ref bumps done well.

Anonymous No. 191988

>>191939
So you're saying raise the dohyo so only lighter rikishi have a chance at surviving being pushed out?

Anonymous No. 192001

>>191962
Kasugano, unlike Hakuho, isn't acting like hot shit and trying to violently rock the boat.

There IS a reason all the supposed "GOATs", i.e., Taiho, Takanohana, etc. left the JSK in disgrace.

Anonymous No. 192003

>>191962
Oh, look at the big criminal that took bribes Muneo stopping Hakkaku from making changes. He's socially liberal wanting same sex marriage and shit like that, so I doubt he's behind the scenes preventing the anti-bullying measures. I'm pretty sure he just made that up.

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Anonymous No. 192004

>>192001
>Chiyonofuji
>Kitanoumi
>Futabayama

Anonymous No. 192006

>>192001
Taiho suffered a stroke you retard, and still managed to stay on as an elder until mandatory retirement age.

Anonymous No. 192008

>>191969
poor man's abi

Anonymous No. 192010

>>191987
I love when they bully the gyoji off the dohyo

Anonymous No. 192015

>>191939
Watch any of the other combat sports with weightclasses. You just don't enjoy sumo

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Anonymous No. 192016

>>191946
>a broken takayasu who went 3-3-9
>a broken endo just there picking up checks who went 0-7-8
he wasn't losing those matches
>looks pissed
pic related was him laughing of a technical loss to midorifuji

Anonymous No. 192017

>>191939
>I hate hugging sumo
based and athletics pilled
>>191988
great idea anon I want to see what happens to Takakeisho after a 3m fall off the dohyo

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🗑️ Anonymous No. 192032

>>191962

Anonymous No. 192035

>>191944
I dunno, prolly, like, dozens?

Anonymous No. 192037

>>192004
Not to defend him, but Chiyonofuji was despised by his peers in the NSK after an unclear incident involving Kitanofuji. As I've mentioned before on here, even after they let him move up the ranks, he also became the first director in sumo board history to fail to be reelected.

Anonymous No. 192038

>>192037
Sure. "Leaving the NSK in disgrace" is, with the fairest interpretation of the term, only applicable to Takanohana when looking among the greatest of rikishi, depending on who you consider the greatest. I'm not disputing that these guys might have had their issues during their time in the association.

Anonymous No. 192040

>>192037
If he was that hated then he actually would have been out in disgrace for his role in the match fixing scandal, but not only was he teflon during that but he got elected the year after. The lack of reelection was more likely due his to health: he had pancreatic cancer surgery the year after he was unseated, and at that point it was already late-stage and terminal, even if he and the doctors didn't know it at the time. Doubtless it would've affected his behaviour and condition the year prior.

Anonymous No. 192041

>>191961
Not that Anon, and I don't care about the fusen, but that's 35 over three anyway, dummy.

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Anonymous No. 192042

>>192017
>t

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Anonymous No. 192053

>>191732
I can see where you’re coming from but sumo isn’t really somethin for everyone you know? At the the end of the day it’s a Shinto ritual with a sports cover so it won’t appeal to everyone usually just weebs. Be lucky you have friends to pester about nip gstring wrestling about. I watch this with my dad too but I tell him about the culture and history behind it I kinda build the story for his old ass. We are pretty invested in kotonowaka and sumo.


Also I got 4chan and that’s enough desu I love the bants and everyone’s interest it would be greedy to ask for more. I like to think we are all racist Japanese old souls in gaijin bodies.

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Anonymous No. 192054

>>192053
I like to think I'm Baruto, but I'm really just Chiyomaru without the muscle.

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Anonymous No. 192055

>sup bro? yeah i took all the prizes the cup and the record
>on my way to fuck ur mum too

Anonymous No. 192060

>>192037
>but Chiyonofuji was despised by his peers in the NSK after an unclear incident involving Kitanofuji
More about this?

Anonymous No. 192061

>>192055
Damm, he drippin'

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Anonymous No. 192063

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Anonymous No. 192066

Miyagino officially to be absorbed by Isegahama
https://hochi.news/articles/20240328-OHT1T51069.html

Anonymous No. 192067

>>192066
Half the top wrestlers in Makucchi won't be even able to fight each other at this rate.

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Anonymous No. 192068

As I say, we don't really know what the deal was, and no one seems eager to open up about it. The following is about the sum of what I've scraped together:

15 years after Chiyonoyama's untimely death, various issues bubbled up related to who was going to be (and who was supposed to be) 'his successor' as the head of Kokonoebeya, because of how things were initially handled. The end result was that Chiyonofuji received both the name and (massively successful) heya of Kokonoe from Kitanofuji under opaque circumstances and then, one year later, ALL of the other toshiyori working at Kokonoebeya (Kitanofuji, Hokutoumi, Kitaseumi, Shiratayama, and Fujinoshin) left to establish Hakkakubeya.

No one can agree on the details of what happened. I've seen Chiyonofuji labeled a traitor, I've seen the matter chalked up to a failure to come to an agreement on the heya real estate deal, Japanese wikipedia states with a [citation needed] tag on it that Kitanofuji urged Hokutoumi to retire early to facilitate all of this for some reason, others claim that Kitanofuji bankrolled the new Hakkakubeya as a way to build a 'real' Kokonoe after being forced out at Kokonoe, and I've seen people argue that nothing meaningful happened at all. The only palpable takeaway is that a number of people inside did not like Chiyonofuji for *some* reason.

Anonymous No. 192069

>>192060
>>192068

Anonymous No. 192071

>>192067
yeah that's why I don't like it

Anonymous No. 192072

>>192066
Just going by what others who seem to know a bit of japanese are saying it seems like based on the wording this is somewhat temporary and we may see Miyagino reopen with all its current members (that haven't retired by then) in a year or two.

Anonymous No. 192074

>>192067
Oh? What great top division wrestlers does Miyagino have again?

Anonymous No. 192075

>>192074
>at this rate

Anonymous No. 192076

>>192068
Why does his kesho-mawashi say Dewanoumi backwards?

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🗑️ Anonymous No. 192077

>>192076
Right to left is trendy and modern, left to right is normal japanese.

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Anonymous No. 192078

>>192076
Left to right is trendy and modern, right to left is normal japanese.

Anonymous No. 192079

>>192078
Oh right, duh. I'm just used to right to left being in vertical format, I guess. Thanks.

Anonymous No. 192081

>>192066
Hakuhover.
It's really sad that we won't be seeing Hakuoho vs Isegahama boys.

Anonymous No. 192085

>>192074
isegahama won't have anyone at all in juryo if takarafuji moves back up. 8-7 at J1w seems pretty likely to move him up.
but with the ability to train with actual talent at isegahama, hakuoho will probably stop having weak performances and end up in makuuchi pretty quick.

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Anonymous No. 192086

Anonymous No. 192087

>>192085
What will happen to Hakuho's manlet collection? Will they be put in the chanko or is Isegahama intending to continue the experiment?

Anonymous No. 192088

>>192087
released into the wild

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Anonymous No. 192089

>>192087
Matsui is the next step in the experiment, so it is going to continue with those who can still wrestle.
Enhou is being put down tomorrow.

Anonymous No. 192090

>>192066
Imagine if they had given Hakuho ichidai-toshiyori status.

>welcome to glorious Hakuho-beya
>no one's been able to open their wallets for 4 years

Anonymous No. 192092

>>192063
God, those teeth.

Anonymous No. 192097

>>192092
Japan is the Britain of Asia, in many ways.

Anonymous No. 192103

>>192067
Part of Miyagino's problem is that Hakuho recruited a fuck-ton of young guys too quickly and the stable was very young and bottom heavy, in spite of the handful of notable names. This is why a manchild like Hokuseiho was able to cause so many problems, because there weren't enough veterans to keep him in line. It's also why I figured in one of the /sp/ threads that Asakayama would've been a good stable to merge with, if they could handle the influx, because they had a lot of veteran makushita wrestlers.

Anonymous No. 192106

>>192066
noooooooooooo, what have they done? ffs..

Anonymous No. 192107

Am I the only one that really doesn't give a fuck about this Hakuho thing?

Anonymous No. 192109

>>192107
you and me brother, you and me

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Anonymous No. 192110

Based Rikishi on bicycle poster

Anonymous No. 192115

>>192103
>It's also why I figured in one of the /sp/ threads that Asakayama would've been a good stable to merge with, if they could handle the influx, because they had a lot of veteran makushita wrestlers.

It would have been a good fit, but Asakayama's building simply didn't have the physical space to house that many wrestlers. Isegahama does, apparently.

Anonymous No. 192116

>>192107
About Hakuho specifically, no, I don't care. However, seeing what happens to some of the rikishi is interesting.

Most of the guys in Miyagino stable were never going to make sekitori, but guys like Hakuoho (obviously), Tenshoho, maybe Otani are interesting. And the new Mongolian they just got, Seihakuho.

One wonders how is the new environment will affect them.

Also, going through the list of now-former Miyagino guys, it's incredible how many guys they have under 175cm.

Anonymous No. 192117

>>192116
I would expect it would benefit them greatly. They just joined pretty much the biggest powerhouse in sumo. All this nonsense people have been pushing about the JSA being upset that Hakuho was creating a power stable is now clearly absurd. They basically just gave him a power stable. Sure, he's not the boss, but what does that matter, really? He was barely the boss at Miyagino supposedly. The influence and draw he has is still going to be there.

Anonymous No. 192119

>>192117
>They basically just gave him a power stable. Sure, he's not the boss, but what does that matter, really?
Especially since Isegahama is retiring next year and there has to be some bullshit about Terunofuji not inheriting his kabu otherwise it would've happened by now.

Anonymous No. 192121

tldr about the whole stable thing ?

Anonymous No. 192123

>>192121
>tldr about the whole stable thing ?

Miyagino stable is folded
All coaches and wrestlers are being transferred to Isegahama stable.
They will stay with Isegahama indefinitely until they are deemed to be good enough to re-found Miyagino stable.

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Anonymous No. 192125

>>192121
>Hokuseiho pranked too hard
>some no-name shitter whistleblows
>Hokuseiho gets removed
>Hakuho now has to pay for his sins, demoted to the lowest rank of sumo elders
>Miyagino stable is no more as punishment
>all Miyagino wrestlers including Hakuho are absorbed by Isegahama
>Hakuho won't be able to have another stable for quite some time

Anonymous No. 192127

>>192125
>Hakuho now has to pay for his sin
Hakuho's paying for covering up for Hokuseiho. He's absolutely not some victim, he's a moron.

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Anonymous No. 192128

>>192115
>Isegahama does, apparently.
The stable has been successful enough in recent years that Isegahama was able to buy the land across the alley from the stable and build a second dorm building. Construction on it started around 2020, you can actually see it yourself on Street View.

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Anonymous No. 192130

>>192066
Someone needs to stop this I saw we merge Sadogatake and Nishonoseki.

Anonymous No. 192133

>>192127
do you know what sin means anon

Anonymous No. 192136

>>192125
Sounds like a humiliation ritual for hakuho’s success

Anonymous No. 192138

>>192130
Oho already spends enough time among the Kotos. Otake-beya is all but a one-man operation.

Dairyu (Otake oyakata) is due to retire in about two years and there are no other elders at that stable, so I imagine the stable would fold.

Oho (and the non-entities there) would have to go somewhere else. Sadogatake would be a good bet since he's friends with a bunch of them. He could also go to Nishonoseki which was Taiho's stable (although obviously not its current incarnation).

Either would be good for him, since he's getting nothing at Otake, though I imagine that Nishonoseki holds a little less appeal because it's way out in the sticks. Might be too boring for a city kid.

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Anonymous No. 192139

>>192138
Not Sumo related but what can be considered the sticks in Japan? I imagine farming fishing and mountain towns fit the bill.

Anonymous No. 192142

>>192133
I read it as him saying "Hakuho has to pay for his(Hokuseiho's) sins" because I'm so used to people trying to act like Hakuho's some poor innocent in all this.

Anonymous No. 192143

>>192128
I suppose that's Isegahama's Lexus.

Anonymous No. 192144

>>192139
>what can be considered the sticks in Japan?
Outside the Tokyo metropolitan area.

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Anonymous No. 192146

>>192139
>>192144
Or the other large cities like Osaka and Nagoya.

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Anonymous No. 192148

>>192139
Anything outside the Taiheiyo Belt.

Anonymous No. 192159

>>191949
I like the 1v5 thing they do sometimes for special events. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGyeIfqOO60

Anonymous No. 192165

Can someone fill me in on the "Hokuho manlet experiment" thing? Is he just a fan of getting guys under 180cm or something more particular?

Anonymous No. 192166

I decided to read the comment section of Chris's latest video (I lose 20 brain cells every time I do so). The amount of stupid fucking retards who think it's merely a LE RACISM issue is mind blowing.

Anonymous No. 192167

>>192165
Hakuho was small and undersized when he came to Japan, and was rejected by several stables. Of course, none of his manlets thus far have followed in his footsteps and transformed into Platonic ideals of rikishi, but this is probably where he's coming from.

Anonymous No. 192168

>>192138
Tamawashi's (and Tamashoho's) beya is a 4 man show and they seem fine.

Anonymous No. 192169

>>192138
Nishonoseki has a literal fucking castle and SPACE to have your own private room and shit.

Anonymous No. 192176

>>192169
but it doesn't have easy access to the tokyo meme nightlife aspect

Anonymous No. 192177

>>191606
>>191621
Here's hoping he can stay fit.

>>191732
>What do?
Tough it up and go about it alone.

Anonymous No. 192179

>>192176
this is probably a good thing drunkenness and alcoholism is bad for the yamatodamashii

Anonymous No. 192180

So what's the deal with Kotonowaka?
He's taking his grandfather's name now >>191695 like he said he would when he hit Ozeki. How come he didn't change his name for March? To have one tournament as "Ozeki Kotonowaka?" And for what purpose? Sorry, I took a break from sumo news for a couple of months.

Anonymous No. 192181

>>192180
Kotonowaka was his dad's name, but his dad never reached Ozeki. He wanted to fight one tournament as Ozeki Kotonowaka to, in a way, give his dad a promotion in spirit? I guess? Some sort of sentimental thing like that.

Anonymous No. 192182

>>192180
Raised his fathers name to ozeki in honor of him

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Anonymous No. 192183

>>192180
>>192181
Correct.

Anonymous No. 192192

>>192123
I bet that many will change their shikona

Anonymous No. 192193

>>192192
Ennofuji
Kinofuji
Teruonofuji

Anonymous No. 192194

>>192146
that's not cheap
a cheap house in rural Japan costs about ZERO but you are required to fix it; there are millions of them abandoned
>>192139
read the /jp/ threads about buying a /jp/ mansion, this one in particular:

https://warosu.org/jp/thread/19183291

Anonymous No. 192195

>>192193
Hakuofujiho

Anonymous No. 192198

>>192193
Seihakuhounofuji, the first 6-kanji shikona

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Anonymous No. 192201

>>192195
>>192198
>>192193
>mfw theyre real

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Anonymous No. 192202

Anonymous No. 192203

>>192198
No, it would be Seiteruonofujionofuji

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Anonymous No. 192208

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Anonymous No. 192209

>>192055
thinking about these bike pictures, it may just explain why some rikishi are better, and others suck and solely practice their brand of sumo till they finally get figured out and suck again (Daieisho who lost by getting side stepped after iver extending like 5 times this basho). now the bike may have been gifted this, but could have been on request or he bought it himself, so im going on that assumption that he aquired somehow for himself.
to get what i mean, look at these bikes
>>192086
>>192202
and recall the chiyomaru riding one, or any of the other videos. now look at takerufuji's pic related one. fat tire, stout construction, comfortable suspension for about 2500. now this is a boutique ebike brand, but there have been fat bikes that have been around for years that you can get for not much more than a normal bike
living the Japanese city lifestyle paired with rikishi's requirement to uses public transport or things like bikes, im beginning to believe that most guys are just too retarded to bother looking for better alternatives and just go to the same shop the stable has bought bikes from for the last 50 years that only has these shitty options as a choice.
im heavy enough to know those bikes are not made to support them or be good riding experiences. theyre not even designs from this century. it feels like the rikishi are blind to their situation and cant figure out Google exists. only things in the sumo bubble is real.

tldr rikishi like takerufuji will use critical thinking to find objectively better ways to do things while thinking causes other rikishi to go critical so they dont

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Anonymous No. 192210

>>192209
What the fuck did I just read?

Anonymous No. 192211

>>192209
average bike autist

Anonymous No. 192213

>>192209
I think this is the most genuinely autistic post I have read on this site in at least two years.

Anonymous No. 192214

>>192209
god bless 4chan, after all these years we still have it in us

Anonymous No. 192217

>>192209
As a 4chan veteran and skilled autism interpreter, I think Anon has actually buried a genuine point underneath the rambling. We should look for more pictures of rikishi on bikes and see if the correlation continues.

Anonymous No. 192219

>>192217
>We should look for more pictures of rikishi on bikes and see if the correlation continues.
What's the correlation? He quoted pictures of two people who both made it to Ozeki, so what does that really even prove? If you're not smart enough to think critically about your rank you'll only ever make it to the second highest rank in the sport? A rank that less than 80 people in the entire history of the sport have ever gotten past?

Anonymous No. 192220

>>192219
Hey, fuck you, buddy. I just want to see fat guys on bikes.

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Anonymous No. 192224

>>192219
He thinks there's a connection between active improvers/adapters and rikishi who bother to buy special bikes after noticing that normal ones don't accommodate their weight & size.
So, Kotoshougiku would have a bad bike, but Kirishima would have a good bike despite both being oozeki.

Anonymous No. 192227

Why did Hokuseiho get off so lightly? All he did is get optionally fired and fade off until no one even remembers he was the ultimate cause. Adequate punishment would have been prosecution for jail time.

Anonymous No. 192229

>>192227
>Why did Hokuseiho get off so lightly?
Because he had an incredibly well-researched bike.

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Anonymous No. 192232

>>192224
>Kotoshougiku
While he was a pusher shover, he had other moves and was generally well balanced on his feet. this is why his ozeki tenure was 7 years
Observe, his modern mountain bike. Even a fat tire bike in the back ground

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Anonymous No. 192238

>>192209
>>192217
bit of a reach bro

Anonymous No. 192239

>>192227
Japs would rather settle everything outside of court rather than go through the judicial system and prison. The guy that brought it up must have thought that getting fired was good enough. Plus, the person who brought it up in the first place is anonymous, as far as I know. Persecuting further would mean a loss in anonymity.
>Why doesn't the sumotori that were being burned and stolen from prosecute?
Literally too much trouble. He got fired and that's good enough for them.

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Anonymous No. 192240

You also have no way of identifying who actually owns the bike, if it's the rikishi themselves or a stable bike.

Anonymous No. 192242

>>192240
Top division guys average easily over 100k. they can afford to buy a bike with their own money

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Anonymous No. 192244

>>192242
Ok?

Anonymous No. 192246

Did Hokuseiho actually burn people or just threaten to?

Anonymous No. 192248

hokuseiho the mongolian dragon

Anonymous No. 192250

>>192229
lol

Anonymous No. 192251

>>192246
From what I understand he was just messing around with a hairspray flamethrower type of thing. Good old fashioned fun.

Anonymous No. 192252

anons acting here like they didnt pull pranks on the boys.
like they didnt dick punch the guys, piss on them while they were sleeping drunk outside or make a fake mustache from pubes for one to wear.
he was trying to dispose of the weakminds, which he successfully did.
boys will be boys, hokuseiho did nothing wrong.
rip

Anonymous No. 192253

>>192251
>Good old fashioned fun
I think you mean "evidence of the innate barbarism of Mongolians" or perhaps "yet another reason why foreigners should be expelled from Japan". This sort of senseless violence has no place in such a peaceful and cultured nation.

Anonymous No. 192254

>>192252
I have been alone all my life and have never had friends. If anything, those things would have been done to me (if I had friends).

Anonymous No. 192256

>>192252
>he was trying to dispose of the weakminds, which he successfully did.
Yes, Hokuseiho retired

Anonymous No. 192257

>>192252
>get paid a stipend of 300 dollars a month
>"friend" who gets paid some 6000 a month takes the money from my wallet
>just a little harmless fun

Anonymous No. 192258

>>192257
That's a crime, yes. But flamethrowers are fun, faggot.

Anonymous No. 192261

>>192258
>t. average 4chin reading comprehension

Anonymous No. 192263

>>192261
Why don't you tell me what the fuck you meant then?

Anonymous No. 192281

>/sumo/ general offending the mamachari bike
saddest day of 2024 so far

Anonymous No. 192282

>>192281
You can't offend a bike.

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Anonymous No. 192283

>>192232
giku onna his racing machine vs giku onna his daily driver

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Anonymous No. 192285

>>192281
mamachari is just a term for a type of bike like mountain bike or gravel bike. the bike here >>192209 has all the characteristics of one except id assume the rear hub break.
there's nothing wrong with the bike itself, but they're not exactly built to accommodate people 3x the average weight
>>192244
if you don't get it, there's no helping you. continue practicing your brand of posting.

Anonymous No. 192286

>>192285
Holy shit that guy has some huge balls

Anonymous No. 192289

New Chris content has arrived
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Csd9W6FW_Ao
Today's topics: who is sitting out the jungyo and why, Michinoku stable transferees

Anonymous No. 192290

>>192289
Until chris (you) answer the bike question, I refuse to watch another video

Anonymous No. 192293

When are they doing another international jungyo?

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Anonymous No. 192295

>>192285
There was nothing to get, he was stating a fact that we all knew and didn't have any bearing on my post.
Stables have large amounts of bikes, many stables bring a couple bikes with them when they travel. There is no way to know if the bike a rikishi is riding was his own researched and bought purchase, or just a communal bike.

Yes rikishi have enough money to purchase a bike, that doesn't prove anything.
Find an interview of rikishi talking about their bike preferences or something.

Anonymous No. 192298

>>192295
>anon proceeds to do Chris-tier "journalism" (stalking sumotori and camping outside of heya) in order to ask them personally about their bikes to settle an Internet debate on a general for sumo wrestling on a board for extreme wrestling on an anonymous Japanese kimono-sewing forum

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Anonymous No. 192301

>>192298
I'm calling the JSA hit squad right now, we can't let this dangerous deviant near our rikishi

Anonymous No. 192303

>rikishi puts baseball card in their spokes
Dai-yokozuna

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Anonymous No. 192304

>>192301
See, this picture of the rikishi in this car? Its a good depictions of how rikishi won't look outside the available transportation to find better transportation.
See, hakuho was the goat because he could adapt and use his intelligence to procure reasonable vehicles like pic related.

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Anonymous No. 192305

>>192303
mag wheels

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Anonymous No. 192307

vaguely related

Anonymous No. 192310

>>192307
>gyogi in a go fast

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Anonymous No. 192311

>>192310
Hakkeyoi!

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Anonymous No. 192312

>>192311
the great fun they have together

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Anonymous No. 192323

Anonymous No. 192324

>>192323
you just KNOW they own Schwinns

Anonymous No. 192325

You know that one book about Sumo and Trains written by a Gyoji, I wonder if it has a chapter on bicycles.

Anonymous No. 192327

>>192307
Thank you. I needed that laugh.

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Anonymous No. 192353

>>192325
Kimura Ginjirou, for reference.

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Musoyama vs Chiyo....webm

Anonymous No. 192356

SOVL

Anonymous No. 192365

>>192289
You think Chris will reveal that the Miyagino absorption into Ishegahama was a ploy from the Japanese Bike Cartel so they could keep selling shit bikes for rikishi?

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Anonymous No. 192366

Anonymous No. 192367

e-bike owners can never reach ozeki

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Anonymous No. 192368

Anonymous No. 192369

>>192368
miss me geek
simple as

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Anonymous No. 192370

Anonymous No. 192376

>>192356
that's just a woman catfight

Anonymous No. 192386

>>192376
Except each of those slaps has the force behind it to stop a speeding train.

Anonymous No. 192394

>>192386
But can it stop a speedy rikishi on a mamachari?

Anonymous No. 192395

>>192394
Bikes on the dohyo - how would it change the meta?

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Anonymous No. 192396

>>192394
No blow can stop a rikishi that has prepared himself to cycle.

Anonymous No. 192412

So the 110 year thing, has there ever been a rookie who won their first tournament with a perfect score?

Anonymous No. 192413

>>192412
Not at makuuchi, there's only been one perfect score by Chiyonoyama way back in 1945, but yokozuna Haguroyama was awarded the yusho because he was also undefeated and had the harder schedule. Playoff bouts would be introduced in 1947.

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Anonymous No. 192423

Anonymous No. 192425

>>192413
Damn he got scammed. Brutal!

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Anonymous No. 192426

Anonymous No. 192437

"Sumo reporters are far from dim-wits."
What kind of bike do you think Chris has?

Anonymous No. 192438

>>192437
He doesnt use bike. He uses one of those faggy e-scooters

Anonymous No. 192439

>>192438
>e-scooter
NGMI

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Anonymous No. 192440

>>192438
>>192437
>>192439
>chris's e-scottie

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Anonymous No. 192441

>>192438
>>192437
You may be onto something. Byamba is the only sumo wrestler I saw on a scooter. He capped out at Makushita 15.

Anonymous No. 192442

>>192441
>Makushita 15
>Beats every American ever
Mad lad.

Anonymous No. 192443

>>192238
the back tyre is nearly flat

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Anonymous No. 192444

>>192442
Retard

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Anonymous No. 192445

>>192444
Not sure what you're trying to say here. Obviously I was referring to his dominance at the US Sumo Open, not that he was higher ranked than any US athlete.

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Anonymous No. 192446

>>192445
>beats every American
>didn't beat every American (110-7)
he won "worlds" twice so its not like there was anyone else in the world that was good and also doing fake sumo.

Anonymous No. 192447

how come hawaiians dont go into sumo anymore

Anonymous No. 192448

>>192447
More money in football and MMA.

Anonymous No. 192449

>>192446
Stay salty, Chris.

Anonymous No. 192450

>>192447
There's no reason to anymore.

Anonymous No. 192452

>>192448
This definitely plays a part but I think the more impactful reason is there's no one actively recruiting for it there anymore. I'm pretty sure almost all the Hawaiians that went into sumo were recruited by one guy and he either retired from that or died and then once Konishiki, Akebono, and Musashimaru all retired the interest in it there just faded.

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Anonymous No. 192453

>>192452
The Hawaiian recruiter died in 2009, but my understanding is that he was done with it well before that.

Anonymous No. 192454

>>192452
There are still amateur sumo teams in Hawaii. A Hawaiian kid placed in the Hakuho Cup last year. Most of them only do it to help crosstrain for football though.
https://www.japantimes.co.jp/sports/2023/02/15/sumo/hakuho-cup-hawaiian-sumo/

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Anonymous No. 192463

>>192454
>Most of them only do it to help crosstrain for football though.
Exactly. The only one who was sincerely pestering 17 year olds to give up their lives to join the NSK got old and died, and nobody stepped up after him.

Anonymous No. 192464

>>192463
I like how they blame a supposed JSA informal ban, as if there wasn't another really big thing that happened in Japan that would explain why fewer foreigners are willing to live there between 1984 and 1994.

Anonymous No. 192466

>>192452
>>192448
good, more spots for japanese. now just to get rid of mongolians and we're back to golden era.

Anonymous No. 192468

>>192464
Alright, I'll bite. Why would fewer foreigners be willing to live in Japan from specifically 1984-1994?

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Anonymous No. 192469

>>192466

Anonymous No. 192470

>>192469
One drop rule
if you have just a drop of japanese blood in you then you are 100% japanese

Anonymous No. 192472

>>192468
That's when the death squads were in operation.

🗑️ Anonymous No. 192475

>>192468
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_asset_price_bubble

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Anonymous No. 192476

>>192470
>if you have just a drop of japanese blood in you then you are 100% japanese
You make a grave error when you underestimate the impact of your words.

Anonymous No. 192477

>>192468
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_asset_price_bubble
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_Decades

🗑️ Anonymous No. 192478

>>192475
Ahh, got it. So how does that relate to >>192463, which says that the increase in foreigners tapered off only after 1994?

Anonymous No. 192480

>>192477
Now I see what happened. You typo'd your original post and meant after, not between.

Anonymous No. 192481

>>192480
I'm not the guy you responded to. I was just speculating.

Anonymous No. 192482

>>192481
What kind of bike do you have?

Anonymous No. 192483

>>192478
Well for one the article is misinformed, it probably looked at Azumao being recruited in 1994 without realizing he was the only "foreigner" recruited after 1992 and before 1998, and only because he was living in Japan anyway. 1992 was also the first big wave of Mongolians.
The same thing also happened in the late 00s after that recession, stables started recruiting fewer foreigners and the usual suspects blamed xenophobia instead of financial concerns.

Anonymous No. 192484

>>192482
UDC Titan Unicycle 29"

Anonymous No. 192485

>>192484
I hope you like making chanko.

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Anonymous No. 192488

>>192483
It's not an article, it's Mark Panek's dissertation-turned-book, Gaijin Yokozuna. He was a huge name in English sumo coverage 20 years ago and had solid personal relationships with most all of the Hawaiians. The whole thing is him interviewing absolutely everyone involved in the era on the foreigner side, along with a number of tanimachi. My point is, this isn't coming from just some AP reporter with no clue what's going on.

Anonymous No. 192492

>>192485
I do, actually. I made nabe once and it was delicious.

Anonymous No. 192503

>>192442
>>192441
he quit early into his career
>starts sumo at 17
>quits at 21
>"capped out" at Makushita when he quit long before he hit his prime

Anonymous No. 192511

>>192503
he quit early on life too

Anonymous No. 192512

>>192511
keked and checked

Anonymous No. 192513

>>192488
>"huge name"
>interviews a bunch of people
>still gets basic facts wrong
This is why I don't trust any gaijin journalists

Anonymous No. 192580

>>192513
>basic facts
You realize you have literally nothing to substantiate your claim, right?

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Anonymous No. 192585

>>192513
from japanese wikipedia
>Efforts to restrict the numbers of foreign rikishi began in the late 80s. In 1988, Chairman Futagoyama proposed a voluntary discontinuation of scouting of foreign rikishi. In 1992, at a conference of oyakata, it was agreed upon that sumo should have no more than 40 foreigners total and only one per heya. *While all of the heya voluntarily stopped recruiting foreigners after this for a number of years,* recruitment efforts restarted in 1998 with the advent of the Mongolian rikishi.
Voluntarily stopping foreign recruitment while coincidentally all of your coworkers do the same sounds a lot to me like an informal ban
huh

Anonymous No. 192587

>>192585
>In 1992
wow gee i wonder what else happened in 1991 and 1992 that would influence sumo's ability to attract and take in foreign wrestlers
>recruitment efforts restarted in 1998 with the advent of the Mongolian rikishi
The first wave of Mongolians was in 1992, the next big wave was in 1999! Between those two, only one Mongolian (Asashoryu) was recruited, out of 9 foreigners total! These are basic verifiable facts that can be easily looked up, yet bullshit is peddled instead. This is why you don't use Wikipedia as a source, in any language.

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Anonymous No. 192591

>>192587
>>192513
>This is why I don't trust any gaijin journalists
Oh, so it isn't gaijin journalists. It's all journalists? I'm glad we got that cleared up.

>bullshit is peddled instead. This is why you don't use Wikipedia as a source
https://www.nippon.com/ja/japan-topics/g02263/

>Foreign rikishi all gathering together in one heya would lead to trouble, as seen with the mass exodus of the Tongans in 1976. Judging the circumstances as dire, the Nihon Sumou Kyoukai agreed to voluntarily refrain from recruiting foreign rikishi. In the Kyuushuu basho of 1998, the ban (author's choice of words not mine) was at last lifted, but only under the terms of one foreign rikishi per heya.

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Anonymous No. 192593

Anonymous No. 192598

>>192483
>xenophobia
the idea of xenophobia as some sort of thought crime is ridiculous, you're supposed to prefer people of your own nation over foreigners same as you should favor your own family over strangers

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Anonymous No. 192600

yokozuna dubzo iri

Fledgling Investor No. 192601

>>192600
I hate those kesho-mawashi so much.

Anonymous No. 192602

>>192601
Why?

Fledgling Investor No. 192603

>>192602
Gay hip-hop font.

Anonymous No. 192604

>>192603
I don't think you know very much about fonts

Fledgling Investor No. 192606

>>192604
>In a bold move by dominating wrestler Terunofuji, artist Enrico Isamu Oyama used his signature QTS (“Quick Turn Structure”) style to create a series of black and white kesho-mawashi. Coined by Enrico himself, QTS is a derivative of actual graffiti terminology and refers to lines that slash back, spin and intercross. They’ve been a recurring motif in Enrico’s work since the early 2000s.
Gay.

Anonymous No. 192608

Bane?

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Anonymous No. 192611

>>192606
Wait, you're talking about the visual design part? Who fucking cares, keshoumawashi have been simply whatever the sponsor wants to put on it for 150 years.
And the actual text font is just a normal font.

Fledgling Investor No. 192612

>>192611
Obviously I meant the graffiti part, Sherlock.

Anonymous No. 192613

>>192612
You said "font", and the visual element isn't a font. A font is fixed.

Fledgling Investor No. 192614

>>192613
I also said HIP-HOP. Stop being so autistic.

Anonymous No. 192615

>>192614
>I also said HIP-HOP
Which is why I was confused and said you don't know what fonts are. >>192604

Anonymous No. 192616

>>192606
>>192612
I really like those designs and I would buy a Teru shirt with that design on it instantly.

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Fledgling Investor No. 192617

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Anonymous No. 192621

Anonymous No. 192627

>>192621
>sees one rikishi not just moving straight forward during the tachiai
UGH FUCKING HENKA!

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Anonymous No. 192629

>>192621
>Fujinokawa doing a ketaguri
The last guy you'd expect (pic related); but looking at his sumoreference page, he must have had the same idea, because he had 26 wins by ketaguri. If you were facing Fujinokawa, he was either going to try to tackle you or go for the kick - you don't want to guess wrong.

Anonymous No. 192656

I hope musashimaru and akebono get their red tsuna’s akebono might not make it to 60 he looks rough. I wish I was an old fag so I could have watched them.

Anonymous No. 192657

>>192656
Does anyone know how Akebono's actually doing these days? Last I heard he was on his last legs and that was years ago.

Anonymous No. 192658

>>192657
Most recent things I can find say he appeared at a funeral in 2019 but still had problems talking and walking on his own.

Anonymous No. 192659

>>192614
Terunofuji has been featured in hip hop videos

Anonymous No. 192683

>>192657
>>192658
Yeah, that funeral is his last known public appearance. He was an active public figure for his whole life right up until the heart attacks and comas, and now we've had silence for 5 years, so it seems very plausible that he's simply waiting for the end and the family doesn't want to be bothered about it.

Anonymous No. 192698

>>192656
i guess i'm an old fag then, used to watch sumo on eurosport in the 90s with akebono, takanohana, musashimaru, kotomitsuki, miyabiyama etc..

Anonymous No. 192699

>>192593
nice find

Anonymous No. 192700

>>192659
What would the great Khan think?

Anonymous No. 192703

>>192593
Bring this sumo back

340 weight limit

Anonymous No. 192704

>>192703
>weight limit
>weight limit
>weight limit

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Anonymous No. 192705

>>192703
>weight limit

Anonymous No. 192731

>>192703
>weight limit
agreed, but 340 is too high, it should be closer to 300

Anonymous No. 192732

>>192731
>300
Too big. 125kg limit. Nobody under 185cm. Pushing and thrusting should be banned. Mawashis should be thinner width. Only hair allowed on a rikishi should be the top knot. All the wrestlers should be oiled.
There, I perfected sumo for you and >>192703

Anonymous No. 192737

>>192732
Make the dohyo 3 meters off the ground and it will be perfect

Anonymous No. 192742

can you thigh kick like in mma

Anonymous No. 192745

>>192742
Yeah

Anonymous No. 192746

>>192742
officially no, unofficially it will sometimes happen in a botched leg sweep or similar. Kicking your opponent in the leg rarely brings you closer to winning a bout

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Anonymous No. 192748

>>192742
The only banned kicks are to the opponent's torso, so anything from the chest to the waist. Thigh kicks are hard for a sumo wrestler to pull off and wouldn't actually do anything beneficial; kicks below the knee are far more common as leg sweeps to put someone off balance.

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Anonymous No. 192749

>>192742
>>192748
And of course, missed kick attempts put you off balance and easy to defeat, so it's a risky move.

Anonymous No. 192750

Kirishima confirmed with a neck injury before the spring tournament.

It's over.
https://www.dailyshincho.jp/article/2024/03310650/

Anonymous No. 192751

Kakuryu and Goeido are going to be shimpan next bassho.

https://www.47news.jp/10704946.html

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Anonymous No. 192752

>tfw

Anonymous No. 192754

>>192752
Is that Mitakeumi?

Anonymous No. 192755

>>192750
All that because going kyujo would force him to miss his oyakata's retirement party.
Like you don't need to support pussifying sumo to recognize that's a very obvious flaw that should be patched out. There's a difference between one guy flying to Mongolia and playing soccer while "injured" and another guy just showing up to an event to pay respects.

Anonymous No. 192756

>>192754
Looks a bit skinny to be Mita. I thought it was Kiri at first glance.

Anonymous No. 192757

>>192750
>Kirishima confirmed with a neck injury before the spring tournament.
I posted about this way back in >>191621

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Anonymous No. 192759

Does anyone know who this guy is?

Anonymous No. 192761

>>192759
Irish rikishi Tom O' Washy.

Anonymous No. 192764

is it allowed at the start to headbutt the guy so hard he just passes out?

Anonymous No. 192765

>>192764
it wouldn't be a good idea since you'd be just as likely to knock yourself out.

Anonymous No. 192767

>>192764
headbutt what? 160kg+ man charging you? if you want a neck injury, sure..

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Anonymous No. 192768

>>192767
>if you want a neck injury
You've got my attention...

Anonymous No. 192769

>>192764
Mutual headbutts are not uncommon at the tachi-ai due to how it's done.

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Anonymous No. 192770

>>192768
Did koto throw for keisho?

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Anonymous No. 192771

>>192764
It's possible, but not reliable since you often end up headbutting each other inadvertently.

Anonymous No. 192772

>>192771
The guy who got dropped by the headbutt ended up winning the match by the way.

Anonymous No. 192774

this sport is fucking great. cant believe what i've been missing all my life.
>your favorite guy fights every 2 months instead of waiting 1+ year to see him.
>your favorite guy is injured all the time but he still fights 3 times a year with no knees, twisted ankles and broken neck.
>15 fuckin days of straight up action.
>no weight limit + roids.
>whole fight is 5 seconds long. no rolling on the ground for 3mins per round for 5 rounds.
>no face tats, no chimpouts, bow and get the fuck out.
>just enough downtime during matches for few shitposts.

whats not to like. why dont you fags shill this shit more?

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Anonymous No. 192775

>>192774
>why dont you fags shill this shit more?

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Anonymous No. 192776

>>192772
Oh yeah, matta. Good on 'im.

Anonymous No. 192777

>>192775
>Implying you wouldn't trade the integrity of sumo for a woman touching your penis.

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Anonymous No. 192778

>>192759

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Anonymous No. 192779

>>192759
>mfw

Anonymous No. 192780

>>192777
t. Asanoyama

Anonymous No. 192782

>>192777
That's what my wife is for

Anonymous No. 192783

>>192782
The integrity of sumo?

Anonymous No. 192784

>>192775
i dont see any way a normie woman would find sumo appealing

Anonymous No. 192785

>>192784
you can see those types in the stands, when abema pans around the arena looking for gaijins.

Anonymous No. 192786

>>192784
Listen to the crowd any time Endo is about to fight. All ladies.

Anonymous No. 192788

>>192784
You know how some men are obsessed with big fat women?

Anonymous No. 192789

>>192788
Not that Anon, but he said normie. Those men aren't normies.
Don't know why anyone would WANT a normie, but that's as may be.

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Anonymous No. 192790

Anonymous No. 192797

>>192748
>banned kicks are to the opponent's torso
But that goes against the tradition! What would Nomi no Sukune say about this?!

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Anonymous No. 192799

>>192797
>What would Nomi no Sukune say about this?!
>Hmm....

Anonymous No. 192802

>>192752
>WHAT ARE YOU?
>AN IDIOT SANDWICH!

Anonymous No. 192805

There was a song that NHK played during a highlight reel from the last basho Terunofuji won (maybe for Takeru as well but I didn’t catch that on NHK) it was right at the end after he gave his victory speech and it was awesome, it played over highlights from the whole event, really triumphant sounding, guitar driven, bordering on hard rock, like something out of a pc engine shoot em up game. If anyone has any idea what I’m talking and knows where to listen to It I’d greatly appreciate it. Go-Men for the shit description.

Anonymous No. 192806

>>192239
He did the crime and got the least punishment while all the other wrestlers from the stable got fucked and did shitty at the basho due to all the drama impacting practice and life. Then they all get moved around, further impacting them. Meanwhile the actual guy who did a crime pretty much got off almost scot free. Retirement isn't a real punishment.

And yeah the guy who brought it up is also an asshole since he fucked over the rest of the stable. People should have just shut up about Hokuseiho if the JSA is so retarded it punishes everyone but him.

Anonymous No. 192807

>>192806
Forced retirement is literally the strongest punishment the JSA can offer in any instance. Anything beyond that is up to the police.

Anonymous No. 192810

>>192806
Hakuoho was mediocre because his shoulder is still recovering from surgery. Wakatakakage had similar performance for the same reason. They both started out strong and and then faded in later part of the basho because it was their first time post injury back to daily competition

Anonymous No. 192812

Sumo historians who invented bintsuke?

Anonymous No. 192813

>>192812
Guaranteed it's one of those things whose true origins are lost to time and might have been independently invented by multiple people, since it's just a mixture of onions wax and chamomile oil. Fun fact, it's also used by geisha as an initial layer on their faces to keep it moisturized and protected from all the other heavy makeup they use. It was probably used by kabuki actors for the same reason. And of course the chonmage dates back over a thousand years.

Anonymous No. 192814

>>192777
No, I wouldn't.

Anonymous No. 192816

>>192813
>onions wax
Its incredibly suspicious that 4chan goes to this length to discouraging us from discussing the East Asian estrogen bean.

Anonymous No. 192819

>>192790
nice

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Anonymous No. 192821

>>192813
> onions wax
Idk why I laughed so hard at this onions

Anonymous No. 192824

>>192805
I don't have an answer for you, but I come bearing two presents, unless you are a Takayasu fan.
mega(.)nz/folder/zAM3ASyA#-5bpCKx7PtzDX2l-FlMv2w
At one point I was going to collect these but getting nhk footage got annoying.

And then I just found out that last yearh NHK has started posting them to their twitter, I skimmed their media feed and found these
https://twitter.com/NhkSumo/status/1683401133509816320
https://twitter.com/NhkSumo/status/1706231567163457621
https://twitter.com/NhkSumo/status/1728722630784459173
https://twitter.com/NhkSumo/status/1751575853647941915
https://twitter.com/NhkSumo/status/1771858247483371541
https://twitter.com/NhkSumo/status/1640276974223388672

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Anonymous No. 192825

Anonymous No. 192837

Chris says Waterbreak glued Hakuho's wallet shut to the tune of several hundred thousand dollars
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lcrr-y5Pgs

Anonymous No. 192838

>>192837
Boo hoo. Don't sign a contract if you're not going to fulfil it, Hak.

Anonymous No. 192839

>>192837
To the tune of This Much, you mean.

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Anonymous No. 192842

>>192837
Stop posting Chris shit.

First line of the video:
>The DMenu website tried to put figures on just how much ...
DMenu is a news aggregator. Every one of their listed articles is attributed to another paper; they do not publish their own work. So which paper is he citing? The Money Post, which, admittedly, is neatly hidden away in... the byline on Dmenu.

This is the man who you can most trust to read between the lines, because you always know he isn't reading the lines themselves.

Anonymous No. 192848

>>191549
Sumo Spiffy

Anonymous No. 192849

>>192227
>prosecution for jail time.
lmao. its hilarious how out of touch with reality some of you people are

Anonymous No. 192851

>>192825
This is my fiancée's favorite rikishi simply because of this mawashi.

Anonymous No. 192852

can you put sponsors on that belt?
make it look like a cycling jersey

Anonymous No. 192853

>>192851
Your fiancée sounds like a stupid.

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Anonymous No. 192854

>>192852
They often are sponsored.

Anonymous No. 192855

>>192854
I think he meant the mawashi itself.

Anonymous No. 192857

>>192853
I dunno man I'm just glad she doesn't think it's a weird hobby like the majority of women probably do.

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Washuyama vs Kiri....webm

Anonymous No. 192858

>>192857
Sorry. I'm just lashing out because I'm alone. Please accept this webm as an apology.

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Anonymous No. 192859

god, he looks so fucking stupid. hate him

Anonymous No. 192860

>>192851
good fiancee

Anonymous No. 192862

>>192859
Same I don't like Ura either

Anonymous No. 192864

>>192858
Good fight

Anonymous No. 192869

>>192748
*head kicks you
Psh, nothing personal kid

Anonymous No. 192870

>>192869
t. Baki

Anonymous No. 192871

new Chris video got him turning Dark Chris, hope he pulls a kyoanime on the JSA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQUhjtwsA0g

Anonymous No. 192872

>>192871
Pathetic.

Anonymous No. 192874

I'm going to start filtering "Chris." Please, get an ad. If I wanted to subscribe to him, I would have.

Anonymous No. 192876

>>192871
Chris is hoping to become the official press manager for the Disgraced Mongolian Sumo Association.

Anonymous No. 192879

>>192871
lmao Chris thinks global warming is real, what a bonehead

Anonymous No. 192884

>>192871
He called the tour the "front for evil mismanagement".

Anonymous No. 192888

>>192879
he also imagines he sees racism everywhere, apparently it was racist of the jsa bosses to notice that hakuho was neglecting his duties as a stable master, same as its racist when americans notice crime statistics or who owns all the major media outlets

Anonymous No. 192889

>>192888
It's hilarious how he calls Ishiura "Hakuho's attendant," as if having a stocked elder on the JSA payroll whose supposed to be performing duties as part of the JSA including coaching and supervising wrestlers as his personal manservant is something Hakuho should be entitled to. So not only was Hakuho not even living in his own house and barely showing up at all, but not even Ishiura was because he was running around being Hakuho's gofer instead of an actual elder, and he wonders why the JSA was so pissed off at all of this.

Anonymous No. 192913

>>192889
>So not only was Hakuho not even living in his own house and barely showing up at all, but not even Ishiura was because he was running around being Hakuho's gofer instead of an actual elder, and he wonders why the JSA was so pissed off at all of this.
Source: not even Chris
What the fuck are you talking about?

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Anonymous No. 192919

>>192879
If global warming is real, why are the cherry blossoms in Japan so late this year?
https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2024/03/29/japan/society/cherry-blossoms-bloom-tokyo/

Anonymous No. 192930

>>192919
because there's not a strong Yokozuna to greet them.

Anonymous No. 192931

>>192930
Teru is objectively an above-average yokozuna.

Anonymous No. 192932

>>192931
with below average knee joints

Anonymous No. 192934

>>192932
Point me to the rikishi with good knees

Anonymous No. 192935

>>192934
abi

Anonymous No. 192937

>>192934
>Point me to the rikishi with good knees
There's two kinds of sumo wrestlers.
Ones whose knees are shot, and ones who haven't been wrestling long enough to kill their knees.

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Anonymous No. 192944

>>192742
Why stop at the thigh?

Anonymous No. 192963

Hiro Morita is a lazy sack of crap. He has a professions production crew, a broad interesting topic to cover, access to just about everyone and everything involved in sumo and even with all that he produces about 1 video a month other than basho highlight clip reels. If Chris had Hiro's staff and official credentials then we'd be getting 3 videos a day

Anonymous No. 192964

>>192963
Further proof that Ohio is the gayest state in the union.

Anonymous No. 192965

>>192963
Ironic Chris shitposting is still shitposting.

Anonymous No. 192981

>>192963
Quality over quantity. I'd rather take a good one-on-one rikishi interview and footage of training over Chris mindreading fanfiction schizobabble and allegations of racism over generic sumo footage from the last basho.

Anonymous No. 192987

>>192981
Troof

Anonymous No. 192993

>>192981
Chris publishes oodles of training footage, far more than any of the other sumo channels do

Anonymous No. 192994

>>192993
Morning, Chris.

Anonymous No. 193001

Jungyo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H0sfZQPlvI

Anonymous No. 193030

SCHRISHZOID

Anonymous No. 193031

>>193030
Hokuseiho would've been great if he's just worn his heckin' mask!

Anonymous No. 193047

>>192981
I'd take chris nig rigging a pachiko shotgun and taking out the JSA over the current state of sumo

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Anonymous No. 193051

>>193047
>current sumo bad
?

Anonymous No. 193054

How fast do tickets usually sell out? I'm gonna be trying to buy them from the official site for the first time, but I have no idea what kind of info they're gonna need from me.

Anonymous No. 193055

>>193054
Also wondering. Plan on going for a full tourny in a few year. Plan for now would be the new year tourny, but i would be pissed if i couldn't get ticket for the last few days

Otherwise, are there "bars" or other meeting points to watch ? Would i get looked at as a weirdo if i took a 4 man box for myself ?

Anonymous No. 193056

>>193055
Are you really gonna pay $4000?

Anonymous No. 193062

>>193055
>Would i get looked at as a weirdo if i took a 4 man box for myself ?
Yes you would.

Anonymous No. 193063

>>193054
>>193055
Especially in Tokyo, tickets tend to get bought out by companies before being put up for general sale. That's not to say there won't be any for general sale at all, but the most reliable way to get a good seat is to eat the extra cost and book through a tourist agency.

Anonymous No. 193069

>>193062
Not if he is extraordinarily obese

Anonymous No. 193073

>>193063
>the most reliable way to get a good seat is to eat the extra cost and book through a tourist agency.
Is it possible to do this after the date they go on sale? I tried doing it the official way but I should've expected their site to be so fucking trash it'd be impossible to actually get through.

Anonymous No. 193080

>>193073
>Is it possible to do this after the date they go on
Yes. I had to do it that way when I went to Nagoya's Basho. You can stand in line too but thats not guaranteed
>>193055
>there "bars" or other meeting points to watch
no idea, but probably since Jap has meetups to even watch rare trains pass through.
i was in tokyo with family and it was on in a random cafe part of the department stores around the skytree and I forced them to sit and watch the rest of the day. a number of older jap. were watching too.

Anonymous No. 193082

>>193080
>Yes. I had to do it that way when I went to Nagoya's Basho. You can stand in line too but thats not guaranteed
Thanks, that's probably what I'll end up doing. I hope the tour part of it's not too bad. Having a "guide" explain the matches or whatever sounds kind of obnoxious. I kinda wish they'd just give me the ticket.

Anonymous No. 193085

>>193082
>tour part
we missed everything but juryo and makuuchi because of meet time and place, and travel to the venue. his normal thing was to take the group to the fort too instead of watch juryo, but i skipped that and a few other in the group decided to stay and listened to me ramble about sumo since they were not initiated.
there might be ones selling full day there, but i had limited options when i checked iirc.

Anonymous No. 193086

>>193085
I wouldn't be too heartbroken about missing juryo as long as takaraufji's made it back up to makuuchi, which seems like 50/50 at this point.

Anonymous No. 193096

A Glueseiho Retrospective, by Chris
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=520JUg5SJPA
Very entertaining video, full of unique foot of Chris's own creation which you will see nowhere else.

Anonymous No. 193097

>>193096
WEAR A HECKIN' MASK!

Anonymous No. 193098

>>193097
how are you still triggered by something from 4 years ago

Anonymous No. 193099

>>193096
One thing I don't think I've ever seen Chris mention is that, if the timeline of events is accurate, all of Hokuseiho's bullying ramped up when the previous Miyagino was still running the stable. But I guess doing a ten second Google search for kabu ownership is beyond him when he can invent nonsense instead.

Anonymous No. 193100

>>193098
Dunno, ask Chris.

Anonymous No. 193101

thats what you get for being a dirty mongolian

Anonymous No. 193102

>>193100
But you're the one posting about it, and about Chris, in this thread. Stop doing both.

Anonymous No. 193103

>>193102
What kind of bike do you have?

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Anonymous No. 193106

>>193103
Elliott Hickory, Model A, 1892.

Anonymous No. 193107

>>193106
NGMI

Anonymous No. 193110

query gods
who has the most wins but never reached yokozuna

Anonymous No. 193112

>>193110
most championships i should say

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Anonymous No. 193113

>>193110
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sumo_record_holders#Most_career_wins

Anonymous No. 193114

>>193112
Same answer. Kaio with 5 Makuuchi Yusho.

Anonymous No. 193115

>>193110
Kaio

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Anonymous No. 193117

>>193112
The answer might be different if you want to include unofficial yusho back to the 1700s, but I don't have the means to query something like that. Random guys sometimes fall through the cracks of history.

Anonymous No. 193118

>>193117
>His whole career was during Napoleon's lifetime
Wild.

Anonymous No. 193166

>>193165
Oh, so THAT'S what Chris looks like.

Anonymous No. 193188

Is someone fluent in nihongo and follows Takatorikis channel here?

Anonymous No. 193191

>>193188
Is this about him alleging a conspiracy about the Harumafuji thing?

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Anonymous No. 193192

Anonymous No. 193196

>>193188
Has anyone ever seen Chris and Takatoriki at the same time?

Anonymous No. 193200

>>193191
Alright, the first quarter of the video oddly defends Hakuhou in a way. It's basically Riki ranting and raving about how much he hates Ishiura's dad and how awful he is as the overseer of sumo at Tottori Jouhoku. Riki says he knew all about Hokuseihou's problems and intentionally ignored them, then passed him off to Miyagino/Hakuhou without mentioning any of it.

He then starts talking about how "back then they reviewed all the tapes" and discovered that Hakuhou told Harumafuji to do it, and likens this to a murder case which he admits is an extreme example: who gets punished worse, the person who convinces the killer to do what he did, or the murderer himself? Obviously the one giving orders is worse. The NSK knew this all along but didn't kick out Hakuhou, and so the current situation is his karmic retribution. Then, deeper conspiracy talk about how all the Mongols must have together cooked up the solution by which only Harumafuji got kicked out in order to protect Hakuhou. Riki then says that Ishiura's dad was there and could have stopped it but didn't (more complaining about he's an asshole), and after he could have spilled the beans but didn't because he was paid off by tanimachi. He says this is when Takanohana went to the police, because now the NSK was going to do nothing, and Takanohana was 100% correct the whole time.

More whining about Ishiura's dad, then he ends the video saying he hopes to get Takanohana on but doubts he'll say yes.

Anonymous No. 193205

>>193200
man sumo really is real life anime

Anonymous No. 193209

>>193205
It isn't, Takatouriki is just a professional Content Creator.

Anonymous No. 193211

>>193200
Man, I feel bad for Oho.
>Dammit, can you get your dad to shut the fuck up?

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Anonymous No. 193263

I see we've reached the start of the content lull.

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🗑️ Anonymous No. 193265

Can Glueseiho and Hakuho use this loophole to escape punishment for their misdeeds?

Anonymous No. 193266

>>193265
They're both Japanese citizens, so no.

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Anonymous No. 193304

Throwback to 2007. Asashouryuu has just been suspended for the soccer affair. A rare side of the proud man, and things do not look good.

Anonymous No. 193314

>>193304
lmao what a lil bitch

Anonymous No. 193345

>>193304
Honestly the more I hear about the personal lives of the Hawaiians and Mongolians the more I'm sympathetic to JSA xenophobia. Foreigners who want to be an influential voice in sumo can prove they're not embarrassments, like Musashimaru and Kakuryu have.

Anonymous No. 193348

love the audio in Kitanowaka - Kotoshoho:

https://sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoTopicsKoTorikumi15/wrap

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Anonymous No. 193350

>>193345
>Foreigners who want to be an influential voice in sumo can prove they're not embarrassments
They'd do well to turn an eye on themselves if embarrassment is the concern.

Nishinoumi I was so egotistical he demanded yokozuna be printed on the banzuke. Nishinoumi II was a prolific match-fixer. Futabayama was in a messianic cult and attacked the cops who had come to arrest their leader. Maedayama - same thing as Asashouryuu's soccer scandal. Chiyonoyama, Kitanofuji, Kashiwado, and Taihou were gunsmugglers for the yakuza. Wajima was affiliated with yakuza, and gave them his kabu for a loan. Kitanoumi was accused of match-fixing by Itai. Chiyonofuji - same. Futahaguro.

These are just the ones which come to mind, and which were big enough to be reflected in general histories of these people. If we're to care about embarrassments at all, surely we have to care about them regardless of who is committing them, right? So it sounds like it turns out, by the standards set by the previous yokozuna, Asashouryuu didn't do anything too remarkable.

Anonymous No. 193357

>>193350
That's just normal Japanese behaviour.

Anonymous No. 193358

>>193350
>Nishinoumi I was so egotistical he demanded yokozuna be printed on the banzuke.
Wasn't it because he was listed below someone he was higher rank then just because the latter had done better in a single tournament? That doesn't really seem that outrageous.

Anonymous No. 193360

>>193358
Yeah. Banzuke in the 1890s were wild.

Anonymous No. 193363

>>193350
If my son does something incredibly rude, I'm justified in sending him to his room. If a guest does something incredibly rude, I'm justified in kicking him out of my house and never letting him return. If you're a foreigner in my country, you should be held to higher standards than my own people, because I have no obligation to let you in to begin with.

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Anonymous No. 193364

>>193363
>If you're a foreigner in my country, you should be held to higher standards than my own people
imagine being this clown

>>193358
He wasn't listed below anyone, he was listed haridashi, which means his name was pushed off to the side of the main banzuke for symmetry purposes. Pic related is what happened after they changed it - his shikona is in the exact same spot, but they've changed his rank to "yokozuna". If this had been an argument about his shikona being 'below' Konishiki, then the change of rank would not have solved it, since he's still placed right there.

Anonymous No. 193365

>>193357
Right. So Asashouryuu should have been embraced as an honorary Japanese.

Anonymous No. 193366

>>193350
Yakuza behaviour and match fixing accusations are nothing to sumo, it's like being shocked and appalled that New York sports was involved with mafia racketeering and match fixing.
Futabayama was snapped out of his cult bullshit and publicly apologized for it. Maedayama was forced to retire for his baseball bullshit which means he actually got held to a harder standard than Asashoryu did, and also didn't pull the "wahh I have le depression pls be nice to me :(" card.
Futahaguro was also kicked out of sumo for his behaviour.

Anonymous No. 193368

>>193192
>Outdoor sumo with the lads
Seems like a wholesome time.

Anonymous No. 193371

>>193368
in 5 degree Celsius

Anonymous No. 193373

>>193371
Even better. Crisp.

Anonymous No. 193374

>>193350
>Wajima was affiliated with yakuza, and gave them his kabu for a loan

he was heavily in debt due to the failure of his chankonabe restaurant and had put up his share in the Association as collateral on a loan

Anonymous No. 193376

>>193366
>Futabayama was snapped out of his cult bullshit and publicly apologized for it
Imagine if Asashouryuu punched a fucking cop and got to apologize for it and continue his career. Think about it.

>Yakuza behaviour and match fixing accusations are nothing to sumo, it's like being shocked and appalled that New York sports was involved with mafia racketeering and match fixing.
This discussion was about rikishi making embarrassments of themselves. The reason why no one is surprised about yakuza ties in sumo is *because* these figures embarrassed themselves and sumo in very public ways. The Wajima thing was huge news. Nishinoumi II made people think the sport was a joke. Kitanoumi was the chairman during the largest yaochou scandal in sumo history.

>Maedayama didn't pull the "wahh I have le depression pls be nice to me :(" card
Okay then. He also once beat Rikidouzan into unconsciousness.

Anonymous No. 193377

>>193376
>Okay then. He also once beat Rikidouzan into unconsciousness.
lmao what's the story here? i can't find anything about this

Anonymous No. 193378

>>193376
>Think about it.
It was the mid-1940s. What's to think about? Also, he continued with his POST sumo career, as he was recently retired at the time. Again seems like a nothing-burger.

Anonymous No. 193380

>>193377
That's it, that's the entire story. They were on jungyo somewhere in the 40s and got into a fight, Riki lost.

Anonymous No. 193382

>>193378
>It was the mid-1940s.
This has no bearing on the content of the action itself, only the response to the action. Gotta say though, attacking cops is higher up in my bad behavior/embarrassment ratings than playing soccer with children for charity when you're supposed to be resting. That's the only thing I mean to discuss here.

Anonymous No. 193383

Who's going to win May, and what kind of bike do they ride?

Anonymous No. 193384

>>193382
Really, it doesn't matter what criteria is used for judging the wrongdoing. What matters is your relationship to the relevant authorities. Asashouryuu already had a reputation for conduct unbefitting his rank, he was a foreigner during an era of foreign dominance, and he'd essentially lied to the association - of course that's going to inspire more animosity. The teacher's pet will never get the same punishment as the class clown, this is just how things work.

Anonymous No. 193390

>>193384
>What matters is your relationship to the relevant authorities ... this is just how things work.
I agree with that. That's why I was disputing >>193345 in the first place, because the results clearly have little to do with the actual actions. It isn't that Asashouryuu did anything uniquely bad in the soccer incident, he was just hated for being an arrogant, mercurial man.

🗑️ Anonymous No. 193397

According to the latest episode of the Chris show on Youtube, Hakuho pretty much admits that he hadn't been putting much effort into training his stable and now that he is under the helpful guidance of Isegahama, Hakuho is being forced to reform his ways and end his laziness and negligence. I won't link the video here because I know how much doing that upsets some people here.

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Anonymous No. 193406

Anonymous No. 193408

>>193406
>its terunoover

Anonymous No. 193409

>>193397
thank you for not doing that

Anonymous No. 193415

>>193406
Why did they replace his knees to toilet paper rolls

🗑️ Anonymous No. 193426

>Terunofuji stepped into the ring
how many kinboshi did he give away?

🗑️ Anonymous No. 193427

Regardless taking 90 days a year off, /sumo/ still manages to account for about 25% of the posts on /xs/

Anonymous No. 193448

>>193383
Hoshoryu, 90's rigid mountain bike

Anonymous No. 193449

>>193427
Who else would discuss things here? the SOAPers?

🗑️ Anonymous No. 193461

>>193448
Hoshoryu rides an anime girl bike with a dildo intstead of a seat

Anonymous No. 193462

>>193461
Is that why he always looks asspained?

Anonymous No. 193483

>>193462
No, the asspained look is caused by the knowledge that his uncle is going to farm clicks by roasting him on social media whenever he puts a foot wrong.

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Anonymous No. 193484

>>193383
Asanoyama, pic related are his bikes

Anonymous No. 193488

>>193484
Will he ever make Ozeki again without the power of the hoes?

Anonymous No. 193491

>>193484
For me, it's purple.

Anonymous No. 193496

>>193491
I'll take gold then.

Anonymous No. 193501

>>193484
2341

Anonymous No. 193502

>>193484
gold>silver>>>red>purple
red and purple will deadfish

Anonymous No. 193508

>>193363
This.

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Anonymous No. 193509

>>193484

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Anonymous No. 193526

Anonymous No. 193527

>>193526
Forbidden kimarite.

Anonymous No. 193529

>>193527
Wouldn't be a kimarite since it wouldn't be guaranteed to make a REAL rikishi fall.

Anonymous No. 193537

>>193529
I'm pretty sure an arrow to the head would knock an Oho- or Aoiyama-class rikishi to his bum. Maybe not the lighter fighters.

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Anonymous No. 193542

Anonymous No. 193599

>>193484
for me? it's silver girl.

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Anonymous No. 193611

>>192656
>>192657
>Akebono
Looks like he didn't make it. RIP.
https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/582a8815d5573e9ad7de5f82579d1a76724db4d2

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Anonymous No. 193612

>>193611
fuck

Anonymous No. 193614

>>193611
54

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Anonymous No. 193615

>>193611
May his soul rest in peace.

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Anonymous No. 193616

https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202404110000325.html
fuck

Anonymous No. 193617

>>193611
Damn, I was just talking about him with a friend today. I actually randomly saw him wrestling on ESPN when I was a really little kid and his name always stuck in my mind. RIP.

Anonymous No. 193618

>>193616
>>193611
Fucking omega RIP

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Anonymous No. 193622

Chad's first yusho.

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Anonymous No. 193627

>>193611
Rip

Anonymous No. 193629

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUG3u2u6vKY
rip chad

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Anonymous No. 193632

>>193611
Fuck. Rest in peace. Pouring one out for him tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayF6oSZGJ_8

Anonymous No. 193634

>>193611
We lost a real one today, lads. I'm surprised he never won a match due to his opponent turning tail and running away, easily one of the hardest stares sumo has ever seen.

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Anonymous No. 193636

>>193611

Anonymous No. 193637

>>193622
and faggots dared to call Hokuseiho the next Akebono, holy kek. Akebono put more effort on this match than Hokuseiho on his entire career.

Anonymous No. 193640

>>193611
Sorry to hear. He'd been in pretty poor health for a while now. Glad he can finally rest.

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Anonymous No. 193642

>>193611
rip my friend

Anonymous No. 193655

>>193611
RIP, I remember hearing about him way before discovering sumo

Anonymous No. 193664

man that's pretty young, tho obviously at his weight

Anonymous No. 193666

>>193664
that weight plus being a sumo wrestler AND a professional wrestler? I'm surprised death let him get as far as he did. the reaper HATES wrestlers.

Anonymous No. 193667

>>193484
Asanoyama IS all-mongolian bike.

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The bike of kings.jpg

Anonymous No. 193688

Anonymous No. 193709

>>193611
RIP to one of the greats

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2018年3月、元横綱でプロレスラ....jpg

Anonymous No. 193711

>>193664
>obviously at his weight
He lost 70 kilograms (154 lbs) in that 2018 hospital stay for the heart problem.

Anonymous No. 193712

>>193711
Look at the size of those hands.

Anonymous No. 193716

>>193637
What moron coached Gluekuseiho into giving up his reach advantage by being a yotsufag when he could've been smacking opponents while keeping himself out of their reach as a tsuki-oshi chad?
>hmmm I have a high center of gravity cause I'm tall, why don't I just let smaller guys grab my belt and tip me over?

Anonymous No. 193717

>>193716
And people want to claim Hakuho wasn't incompetent.

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Takanohana vs Ake....webm

🗑️ Anonymous No. 193725

Chad's 8th Yusho.

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Takanohana vs Ake....webm

Anonymous No. 193726

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crFxgpVeqhY

Anonymous No. 193735

>>193717
Or, you know, his high school sumo coach who he worked with for 4 years

Anonymous No. 193736

>>193735
Nah, if Hakuho wasn't incompetent then he'd be able to fix him.

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Anonymous No. 193740

>>193611
Sucks to hear. My introduction to him was WWE when he had that feud with the Big Show. At the time I had no idea just how big of a deal he was. At least he's no longer suffering.

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Anonymous No. 193744

>>193736
The conversation was
>What moron coached Gluekuseiho into giving up his reach advantage by being a yotsufag
And the answer is Ishiura's dad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ9OYIvx308&t=233s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWTqm2wBbHA&t=41s

Anonymous No. 193745

>>193744
Yes and Hakuho is incompetent for not breaking him of that. ALL high school and college wrestlers have bad habits, competent oyakata break those habits and coach them to be more multi-dimensional. Hakuho didn't.

Anonymous No. 193746

>>193744
Also, the kid who beats Hokuseihou in the second video (Kusano Naoya) just joined Miyagino/Isegahamabeya.
Sunrise, sunset; the circle of life.

Anonymous No. 193748

>>193745
I don't have any interest about what Hakuho did or didn't do in his time with The Stand. You answered the question of
>What moron coached Gluekuseiho into giving up his reach advantage by being a yotsufag
with the wrong answer, and I corrected you because I had the correct answer.

Anonymous No. 193749

>>193748
Nope, I answered with the right answer. More than one person can be incompetent at the same time.

Anonymous No. 193750

>>193749
No, you were literally wrong. Ishiura Tokiyoshi taught him to do that. Hakuhou did not fix it. If I put a bomb in your car, and your mechanic doesn't notice it, your mechanic did not put a bomb in your car.

Anonymous No. 193753

>>193750
If my mechanic's job is to notice what's wrong with a car and fix it, and he doesn't notice and fix a fucking bomb, I'd say he's pretty damn incompetent.

Anonymous No. 193755

>>193753
But the conversation isn't about your mechanic. As you lay bleeding in the hospital, your thought is
>Who bombed my car?
rather than
>goddamn fuckin Jack's Auto that cocksucker always misses something

Anonymous No. 193757

>>193755
If I knew that the bomb had been planted prior to the car being inspected, and it went off after the car was inspected, I would in fact be wondering how the fuck a mechanic can be incompetent enough to miss a fucking bomb, especially when the mechanic in question just had a very high profile falling out that resulted in him losing his licence to operate his own garage which in turn had a lot of vocal defenders claiming it was due to racism and not incompetence.

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64th Yokozuna Ake....webm

Anonymous No. 193760

>YOISHO!!!
>YOISHO!!!
>YOISHO!!!

Anonymous No. 193761

Genuinely one of the most autistic arguments I've seen here in a while.

Anonymous No. 193763

>>193757
I still feel like you're missing the point. Jack Valdez's status as a pillar of the community should indeed be reconsidered, but the investigating officers who come to your bedside for an interview about potential suspects aren't concerned with how pissed off you are at him, unless you suspect he intentionally overlooked the bomb. They would tell you not to waste your very limited energy on that, because it holds no relevance to the ongoing investigation and only makes you feel physically worse. Old Jack needs a smack in the head, yes, but that's not important /right now/. What matters is the cyclist on a Marlin 8 who was seen acting suspicious outside your house.

Anonymous No. 193764

>>193763
Don't care, the mechanic still sucks.

Anonymous No. 193776

Hokuseiho won a lot at the high school level, so you can't even blame the high school coach for coaching the high school sumo wrestler to face other high school sumo wrestlers in high school sumo competitions. It wasn't until he got to the pros, especially when he reached sekitori, that his style of sumo failed him. This indicates not a failure at the high school level, but a failure by his professional coaches not properly adapting him to professional sumo.

To use the car metaphor, it's like a mechanic selling you a set of really good city driving tires, then you take the car to a track and get smoked because they're not track racing tires.

Anonymous No. 193779

>>193776
But what if you try to put track racing tires on the car but it is too dumb and keeps putting the city driving tires on when you aren't looking.

Anonymous No. 193785

>>193779
But what if the car was a bike? What kind of bike would it be?

🗑️ Anonymous No. 193795

Big man off to the big basho in the sky.
R.I.P.

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Anonymous No. 193798

>>193735
Still Hakuho's fault.

Anonymous No. 193805

>>193798
Now read the next sentence.

Anonymous No. 193808

>>193805
>again at Hakuho's recommendation
It's Hakuho all the way down.

Anonymous No. 193812

>>193716
>let me answer this with reasonable points...
>>193764
>>193757
>>193753
>>193749
>>193745
>>193736
oh wait, never mind. Noone can chamge the mind of this special kind of autistic retard

>>193776
>that his style of sumo failed him
he made it to the top division at 21 (well below his prime years of sumo), and was split mk and kk. well never know if he would have developed well or not

>the hakuho boogeyman
this dood lmao

Anonymous No. 193817

>>193812
Akebono was in sanyaku when he was 21, he also had 3 sansho prizes and a kinboshi before he turned 22, all because he was making use of his reach advantage instead of letting his high center of gravity be turned against him.
Using long arms to smack the other guy around while he is too far away to hit back is the tall man's greatest advantage, voluntarily surrendering that advantage is pure stupidity.

Anonymous No. 193821

>abi.jpg

Anonymous No. 193828

>>193812
Go to bed Chris

Anonymous No. 193835

>>193761
All this could have been avoided if Hokuseiho had a better bike. Hakuho was negligent by not supplying his beya with proper bikes

Anonymous No. 193838

>>193835
>All this could have been avoided if Hokuseiho had a better bike.
Might be time to rest this joke for a little bit.

Anonymous No. 193853

https://www.jiji.com/jc/article?k=2024041201007&g=spo
First Akebono, now Asashoryu

Anonymous No. 193855

maybe this is what solar eclipse prophecies were about

Anonymous No. 193889

>>192770
No way, the yusho was on the line for him in that match. and Keisho earned himself a new injury taking it.

I think he was just expecting Keisho to give him an easy surrender and let his guard down.

Anonymous No. 193905

imagine being the waka brother who never got into juryo

Anonymous No. 193907

>>193835
>avoided if Hokuseiho had a better bike.
silly anon missed my whole bike point. the bike is a representation of the effort a rikishi will put into something. the better bike does not make a better rikishi. a better smarter rikishi will recognize how inferior the mamachari is to use, and will aquire a suitable bike for someone of their stature. hokuseiho is a rikishi that will go with whats readily available to him, which is obvious in his brand of sumo and his bike choice

Anonymous No. 193909

>>193853
"From today, I will be admitted to a hospital in Tokyo (Tokyo) as an emergency"
That translation sounds like terminal cancer (jsa witchcraft to remove gaijin yokozuna)

Anonymous No. 193910

>>193853
Damn, I kinda hope Nephew can make him proud before he goes.

Anonymous No. 193913

>>193909
While I'm not discounting the possible use of Shinto magic to rid sumo of its gaijin infestation, I think the translation is just typically awkward. I didn't get any serious vibes from it.

Anonymous No. 193917

>>193907
>a better smarter rikishi will recognize how inferior the mamachari is to use, and will aquire a suitable bike for someone of their stature
What if the unsuitability of the bike is the point to that rikishi? You know, 'ask not for a lighter burden but broader shoulders', all that.

Anonymous No. 193918

>>193909
>>193913
His actual tweet has him saying that *he* doesn't know what's wrong yet, either, so this isn't a chronic condition.
https://twitter.com/Asashoryu/status/1778709433268449602
>image limit

Anonymous No. 193920

>>193913
>>193918
>i don't know the cause
they just got akebono with their magic, he should know he was next on the list

Anonymous No. 193921

Why couldn't it have been Konishiki?

Anonymous No. 193933

>>193905
I would be happy since I wouldn't be a roidbeast shitter.

Anonymous No. 193944

>>193611
Damn I was hoping he’d make it to 60 RIP to the great akebono! I wish I was alive during your reign at the top.

Anonymous No. 193945

>sumodb down for a full day
it's over

Anonymous No. 193949

>>193945
That's the drawback to these sites that amass information and refuse to share the database openly.

Anonymous No. 193951

>>193945
Try to remember that everyone involved in English sumo is ancient and slow. To get it fixed, someone has to actually call Doitsuyama (probably on a landline), the site owner who visits sumoforum once a week and posts once every two months.
These are the people who threw a condescending fit about 'kids these days' when someone suggested that the minimum time between queries should be reduced to something less than 10 seconds.

>>193949
>amass information and refuse to share the database openly
I'm pretty sure several people have cloned sumodb in the past, but I don't know if any of those are online.

Anonymous No. 193952

>>193951
>people have cloned sumodb
I might give it a try if it comes back. But scrapers probably get blocked to protect people from getting the data. Getting the new data is probably easy, isn't it scraped from the sumo association site? It's just the historical data that's valuable.

Anonymous No. 193953

>>193905
Wakatakamoto will get there later this year, he was 6-1 in March

Anonymous No. 193954

>>193952
>It's just the historical data that's valuable.
True, but a lot of it is wrong or incomplete because Doitsuyama was inputting it by hand from old books, and I think he didn't know how to handle tables not existing. For example, juryo did not exist before 1888, but every page preceding that date still has juryo divisions which don't necessarily correspond to anything.
The historical data therefore exists as a sort of abandoned work-in-progress, and you'd need to know which data points to keep or toss if you were to make a new DB.

Anonymous No. 193955

Hokuseiho stole my bike

Anonymous No. 193956

Here, this is the one I was told was a fork. Japanese-only, if you can understand enough to work with it.
http://大相撲.jp/searchHoshitori/2024/03/1

also,
>Copyright© 大相撲.jp All Rights Reserved.
lol

Anonymous No. 193957

>>193933
so a shit shitter living in his and others shit

Anonymous No. 193966

>>193910
HWNBAY
he will never win another cup either, the mongol era of sumo is over.

Anonymous No. 193972

Jungyo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXc4wL4vlus

Anonymous No. 194001

I can't believe that Asashoryu has necrotizing fasciitis

Anonymous No. 194009

>>194001
My dad works at 任天堂病院 and he told me they amputated Asashoryu's legs last night.

Anonymous No. 194010

I can't believe Hoshoryu just came out of the closet.

Anonymous No. 194011

>>194009
They should give him Hokuseiho's and let him return to the ring.

Anonymous No. 194012

>>194010
does that make him a 外人?

Anonymous No. 194013

>>193966
>he will never win another cup either
neither will teru

Anonymous No. 194014

Its been over 5 days since Chris posted a new video and he averages 4 a week, so it safe to say that he is probably dead, he'd have posted a new video by now if he were still alive.

Anonymous No. 194016

>>194014
Chris-chan was Akebono all along.

Anonymous No. 194018

>>194016
Was he also SumoDB?

Anonymous No. 194019

>>194018
Don't be silly. Everyone knows that Asashoryu is SumoDB.

Anonymous No. 194020

>>194019
I think it's important in rough times like these to recognize that we are all SumoDB.

Anonymous No. 194021

>>194014
He's trying to dig up dirt on how Akebono's death was because he was about to expose the insidious JSA anti-Mongolian plot that would make Isegahama the god emperor of sumo.

Anonymous No. 194023

>>194019
I'm not, people can query me as often as they'd like.

Anonymous No. 194024

>>194023
>_<

Anonymous No. 194026

>>194024
>[\]-[/]<
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jZCSC5LU-I

Anonymous No. 194036

http://www.sumoforum.net/forums/topic/42945-the-search-feature/

🗑️ Anonymous No. 194037

>21.12
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5jwxrTqoEA&pp=ygUJUnVzaCAyMTEy

Anonymous No. 194150

db is back. So, to illustrate what I was talking about in >>193954, here's a post discussing manual-input DB errors as recent as 1970.
http://www.sumoforum.net/forums/topic/41240-tsuruonishiki/

Anonymous No. 194194

Hidenoumi & the Kise gang go to a restaurant
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=275amelM1To

Anonymous No. 194195

Kise stable bicycles
https://youtu.be/pE9UwOQe-Z8?t=594

Anonymous No. 194196

>rikishi 1 shikona matching pattern Terunofuji
>rikishi 2 shikona matching pattern Harumafuji
0 results found

Anonymous No. 194197

>>194196
Anon I...

Anonymous No. 194199

>>194196
I did the same thing before I realized they're both Isegahama.

Anonymous No. 194210

>>194196
Terunofuji won a kinboshi from Harumafuji in 2014 during an Isegahama chanko eating contest

Anonymous No. 194269

New thread: >>194268

Anonymous No. 194270

>>194269
Why

Anonymous No. 194273

>>194270
because he can't stand a thread without images

Anonymous No. 194283

>>194270
Don't be a stiff old man like the JSA

Anonymous No. 194287

I'm staying in this thread

Anonymous No. 194290

>>194269
Are you a zoomer? Have you no patience?

Anonymous No. 194593

so how's it hanging

Anonymous No. 194798

oh sure >>194287 you say you're staying in this thread but I ask you how you're doing and it's total silence

Anonymous No. 194809

Queef

Anonymous No. 194896

>>194798
I said I'd stay in the thread, not that I'd monitor it.

Anonymous No. 195193

>>194896
monitor this, you lizard

Anonymous No. 196637

last

Anonymous No. 196649

>>196637
nope

Anonymous No. 196881

>>196637
This thread is currently third-from-last on page 10, maybe you can get last post this time.

Anonymous No. 197003

last

Anonymous No. 197004

The ending of the words is ALMSIVI