🧵 /xs/ Football Squad
Anonymous at Fri, 28 Mar 2025 16:40:23 UTC No. 227014
The small and mighty board of /xs/ has its own Football squad that competes in an inter-board digital tournament. No players, just computer on computer violence. It's a chance to show the bigger boards that even if /xs/ is slow, our incredibly niche extreme hobbies are cooler than their gacha slop.
After a stale roster for a few years, there's some proposed roster updates. If you want your flavor of autism represented, or what the fuck I'm on about, yell at me in a reply. Or approval if you want a player to stay on the roster.
Proposed Roster:
Punished Hakuho
Aggressive Inline
Brain Damage
Suspension Autism
Collagen Shills
Kimbo Slice
The Earth Rocker Returns (Silver)
Esoteric Nuidist Rapierist (Silver)
He Burned My Patch (Silver)
The Ultimate Martial Art (Gold)
Tony Hawk's Existential Nightmare (Gold)
The "Professor"
/k/ But for Felons
Looking for a new Sport in my 30's
Too Broke for this Shit
Boxing/Muay Thai + BJJ
Street Fight Tactics
>Anime Imitation
Skiing and riding have Fallen
Best Martial Art to Beat Up My Step Dad?
Other SUMO rep for someone to tell me to put in here
Zorb and Soaping General
REAL Wrestling
And remember, you don't have to be a musician to be an Earth Rocker.
Anonymous at Fri, 28 Mar 2025 16:42:45 UTC No. 227015
And here's the current roster for the team. Most of the players from this roster would be replaced by the ones on the new roster, with some name changes.
Hakuho
Aggressive Inline
Tendonitis
But I'm Worried About Brain Damage
RIGGED
/k/ But For Felons
Earth Rocker
Esoteric Nudist Rapieriest
Pipebomb
He Burned My Patch
Tony Hawk's Existential Nightmare Captain
411 #16 (1996)
Is 14 Too Old To Skate?
Skate Maid
>Braille
Fuck Vail
Is ___ An Extreme Sport?
A Bicycle Worth More Than Your Car
Green Boots
Hot Sexy Girl Climbing Mountain
McDojo
Zorb General
NO WRASSLIN'
Anonymous at Fri, 28 Mar 2025 17:04:31 UTC No. 227022
>>227015
rest in piss pipebomb
Anonymous at Fri, 28 Mar 2025 17:22:07 UTC No. 227025
>>227022
Yeah, Pipebomb was an old /asp/ meme, never really saw the light of day here as a fighting strategy. /xs/ has come up with better fighting styles since then...
Anonymous at Sat, 29 Mar 2025 00:59:57 UTC No. 227091
>>227014
After last cup's performance I think it's clear that Hakuho needs to go kyujo for at least a couple of cups. Issue is, the new Yokozuna sucks, so unless you want a player named something like "Kinboshi dispensing machine", which doesn't bode well for a keeper, so if you wanna keep it for another cup it's fine by me, personally I'd suggest Ura as the replacement since he's known for bullshit and would be able to do bullshit saves. As the 2nd Sumo rep I'd say Bikeposting, it's by far the best original content that isn't from the /sp/ threads
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 05:04:14 UTC No. 227248
>>227014
I back this anons proposal >>227246
It's relevant and funny
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 09:10:37 UTC No. 227254
How do I ollie?
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 09:22:06 UTC No. 227257
>>227091
>unless you want a player named something like "Kinboshi dispensing machine"
It's "Kinboshi printer" thank you very much
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 10:17:24 UTC No. 227260
>>227014
Put Takayasu on the team. He can't win cups in sumo, but maybe football is his sport.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:43:09 UTC No. 227474
>>227394
I don't think PES can accurately represent this 4 breasted beast on all it's glory
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 02:23:36 UTC No. 227588
can we bring back Bruce Lee? He was my favorite player on /asp/
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 17:20:02 UTC No. 227627
>>227091
So bikeposting has a static model; you’ll see this on the pitch but right now the legs aren’t rigged up to move so he’ll just scoot around.
I’ll figure out who the next keeper is, but the model likely won’t see a change much outside of the outfit, name, and portrait.
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 17:51:53 UTC No. 227630
>>227627
Personally i'm fine with keeping Hakuho for a while, since he's the goat for this century at minimum. I fear switching around every few months gonna be a pain, unless onosato somehow rises to the occasion
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 18:40:23 UTC No. 227633
>>227627
That's a proper bike, now /xs/ is sure to score more wins than losses this cup
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 22:22:57 UTC No. 227670
>>227630
Yeah, Hakuho was a huge deal, it's okay to keep him for a while more
Anonymous at Fri, 4 Apr 2025 17:27:12 UTC No. 227721
So, when's the next cup anyways?
Anonymous at Sat, 5 Apr 2025 01:20:27 UTC No. 227742
>>227721
Qualifiers begin on the 18th, the cup itself begins May 2nd. Match day updates will be in this thread as to not clog the board.