🧵 /sumo/ - Off-Basho General
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 16:36:35 UTC No. 227281
Hoshoryu epic fail edition.
His failure as a yokozuna will be remembered forever
prev >>225214
>Banzuke:
http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.
https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBa
>Fight Schedule & Results:
https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMa
>Some sumo links and how to watch live:
https://rentry.org/uwbgc88d
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 16:42:51 UTC No. 227284
>>227262
its absurd that hakuho expects the japanese fans to consider him a patriotic japanese citizen while he does everything he can to flood their national sport with foreigners. and now terunofuji is going to start trying to pull the same bullshit act too.
someone needs to start busting beer bottles over their heads, apparently thats the only way mongs can learn
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 16:48:12 UTC No. 227285
>>227284
Don't worry, Dan's yokozuna bid will cleanse the top of sumo from the Mongol menace
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 16:52:25 UTC No. 227287
>>227285
Eastern Europe doesn't have a great track record at ousting Mongols.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 16:53:32 UTC No. 227288
Onosato should change his shikona to Kamikaze when he makes Yokozuna
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 17:05:35 UTC No. 227290
>>227289
how do people even get this big
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 17:07:12 UTC No. 227291
>>227290
He did his own brand of eating, and took it one day at a time.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 17:09:13 UTC No. 227292
It's like you guys have never seen a fat guy before
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 17:12:14 UTC No. 227293
>>227292
I see them all the time and I always wonder it. I used to be fat too, I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, but I never even got close to that big.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 17:15:55 UTC No. 227294
>>227293
At my biggest I was ~300lbs and it was an active effort to eat enough to maintain that weight. On top of that, the added difficulty in everyday tasks like walking or climbing stairs was unbearably annoying. Getting as fat as Superman there is truly a superhuman ability, most people could never get close.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 17:31:42 UTC No. 227296
You get that big by injecting insulin because the (((doctor))) told you to.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 18:58:43 UTC No. 227298
Interesting that Hoshoryu was wearing no bandage or other protective gear on his supposedly injured right elbow for the last match of basho that he contested. If his elbow was legitimately injured then he would have been wearing something on it.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 19:06:26 UTC No. 227299
>>227298
Shhhhh, the r*dditards will get upset
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 19:18:48 UTC No. 227302
>>227298
>If his elbow was legitimately injured then he would have been wearing something on it.
Or if it was injured, he'd drop out of the yuusho rather than putting a bandage over it so he could actually recuperate.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 19:25:38 UTC No. 227303
>>227302
If he hadn't said he was going to stay in no matter what, he could have just gone kyujo before the tournament even started. It was ridiculous to take part knowing he wasn't in good condition - he's good, but not good enough to contend for the championship with one arm.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 19:28:23 UTC No. 227305
>>227303
Okay. So?
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 19:28:24 UTC No. 227306
>>227303
>If he hadn't said he was going to stay in no matter what
Stop being retarded. This is Asian face saving 101. He said that to make it clear it wasn't his spirit and willingness to fight that were in question, just his physical health. It's the same as when rikishi who are about to retire talk about how much they want to keep fighting.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 19:32:24 UTC No. 227308
>>227306
How has he saved face by swearing he wont drop out and then dropping out? He's made himself look worse than if he just sat the basho out.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 19:51:27 UTC No. 227311
>>227305
So he made a mockery of the rank.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 19:57:52 UTC No. 227312
>>227311
Its really the JSA who are responsible for that.
They promoted someone who everyone knew was not qualified for the yokozuna rank and they did it solely for the purpose of insuring that the tour stop in Europe would be popular.
They really spat in the face of Japanese fans by lowering the dignity of sumo in order to please a bunch of sissy eurofaggot foreigners.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 19:59:47 UTC No. 227313
>>227312
>Hoshoryu loses every match at the London exhibition
>"Yokozuna" enters the English lexicon as a synonym for "disappointing minor celebrity"
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:07:38 UTC No. 227314
>>227311
You're talking about something that happened almost 3 full weeks ago at this point, get over it.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:10:24 UTC No. 227315
Funny how just two months ago when Kotozakura threw his Yokozuna run everyone just assumed he was injured even though he didn't even say he was.
I wonder if perhaps those very same people are now the ones shitposting about Hoshoryu's fake injury?
Hmmmm
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:22:50 UTC No. 227318
>>227313
If they hype Hoshoryu up as being some incredible guy and then he fails miserably, the British will never let sumo live it down and it'll forever be a laughing stock. It's already bad enough, people here just think it's unathletic fatsos slapping each other.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:25:48 UTC No. 227319
>>227315
It was patently obvious that Zak was injured due to his substandard performance. Hoshoryu's performance wasn't much worse than his usual though. Remember in January he was 6-3 and lost to maegashira jobbers, so for him to be 5-4 after losing to jobbers isn't too far away from what he'd done two months prior.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:41:14 UTC No. 227321
>>227319
January was an outlier for Hoshoryu not the norm. He went 4-5 vs maegashira his worst result since 2022.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:41:59 UTC No. 227322
>>227321
If January wasn't his norm, what was March?
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:42:14 UTC No. 227323
>>227318
>Witness the battle of power, endurance and strategy as these great athletes showcase techniques honed over centuries. Who will prevail against the champion Yokozuna? Which of the 82 winning moves will be used? No one knows how the tournament (basho) will unfold, but every step, bow, and clash is a rare opportunity to experience one of the most extraordinary spectacles in sport.
Posted on the Royal Albert Hall's website, right under a picture of Hoshoryu doing his dohyo-iri. He's absolutely being presented as the man to beat, and the rest of the description makes it plain that it's being marketed towards people who don't already follow sumo.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:43:28 UTC No. 227324
>>227322
An injury.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:44:18 UTC No. 227325
>>227323
Best case scenario is he performs in May then sits out July so he can fully rest up for London.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:45:11 UTC No. 227326
>>227318
>people here just think it's unathletic fatsos slapping each other.
The moment they see Kinbozan dish it out, their suspicions are going to be confirmed
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:46:27 UTC No. 227327
>>227315
>whataboutism
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:52:44 UTC No. 227328
>>227322
This March was normal for him, he loses on day 1 more often than not and typically loses a lot in the first week, since last March he is 2-5 on Day 1 and averages nearly 3 losses in the first week.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 20:54:46 UTC No. 227329
>>227325
He's being set up by the JSA. They want an unripe, unready Mongolian yokozuna to embarrass himself, so they can follow up with a strong Japanese yokozuna, to truly end the Mongol Era. That's the whole purpose of the London trip, so they can bring the Mongols down without ruining a real basho for the domestic audience.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 21:06:25 UTC No. 227330
Just because the board name starts with /x, it doesn't mean that you have to be a bunch of schizos you know
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 21:12:32 UTC No. 227332
>>227331
It's a good thing he picked Kise-beya. Anyone would feel better about their injury struggles if they lived with poor old Higohikari.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 21:36:18 UTC No. 227334
>>227333
He makes Koga look like Hakuho. He's one of sumo's lifers, and I can't imagine there's many options for him in civilian life if he's prepared to stay on with this sort of record for so long. The man exudes an aura of absolute hopelessness, it's like watching a snail try to cross six lanes of traffic whenever he appears in Kise videos.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 21:42:08 UTC No. 227336
>>227330
I wish I had thought of this.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 21:45:58 UTC No. 227338
>>227337
Stop trying to force that for hoshoryu. It worked with Takakeisho because that's legitimately what he looked like.
If you wanna shit on the dude at least be original instead of stealing a different rikishi's insult.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 21:47:50 UTC No. 227339
>>227338
If anything it looks like the good old
>I told you about the stairs bro
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 21:53:10 UTC No. 227341
>>227340
Who could've imagined Tobizaru would be the one to finally take his knees out.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 21:54:50 UTC No. 227342
>>227341
Tobizaru imagined it, for sure. Every single time they met it felt like he was going directly for the knees.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 22:01:36 UTC No. 227346
>>227341
>>227342
>>227343
Those matches were some of the few were Teru would get visibly shaken.
>>227345
Oh so you don't actually have a response, instead continuing to push a comment that was said about an entirely different person.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 22:19:29 UTC No. 227349
>>227347
He doesn't look like a run over toad there, he looks like he's been left behind by his friends on a night out for being too wasted.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 22:23:46 UTC No. 227351
>>227349
They both kinda do
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 22:25:45 UTC No. 227353
>>227347
He really is fucking huge. Not in an Ichonojo sense, but in just being wide as fuck.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 22:29:18 UTC No. 227355
>>227353
He's not far off peak Ichinojo size as things stand, and he carries it a lot better. I can see him fighting at over 200kg as he ages.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 22:38:53 UTC No. 227356
>>227355
Ichinojo looked like the Michelin man because he consumed most of his calories in the form of sugar/alcohol and didn't exercise very much.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 22:47:30 UTC No. 227357
>>227356
This is true. There's a huge difference between Ichinojo and Musashimaru, even though they were roughly the same height and weight at their peak. Musashimaru is probably a better comparison for Onosato, although I don't think Onosato is ever going to be as bulky.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 23:03:09 UTC No. 227358
>>227349
He looks like he got scared by a big spider and his friend's running up to smash it for him with his hand.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 23:03:51 UTC No. 227359
>>227357
I hope so, he's enough of a bulldozer as is and I'd like to see some more technical stuff from him.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 23:11:00 UTC No. 227360
>>227357
Musashimaru is a top American football prospect who got into sumo. Haven't you seen his maezumo debut fight? Pantera would've been proud of that vulgar display of power.
https://youtu.be/BNZr4Oeuyrw?si=nDr
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 23:15:10 UTC No. 227361
>>227360
Exactly - Musashimaru would have struggled to get much under 250lbs even if he was lean, and at his peak was possibly one of the most densely muscled men in the world. Ichinojo carried a lot more fat and a lot less muscle.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 23:34:36 UTC No. 227362
>>227360
It's interesting that it took Musashimaru five years to go from Ozeki to Yokozuna. Sure his twelve yushos look like an incredible achievement, but that's a really long time. Even (((Hoshoryu))) obliterated that.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 23:38:02 UTC No. 227363
>>227362
The most interesting thing about sumo in general is how interesting and unique various rikishi's careers are. Even someone as boring as Kagayaki has the distinction of being notably boring.
Anonymous at Sun, 30 Mar 2025 23:52:41 UTC No. 227364
>>227363
And while Ryuden seems like a nobody, he had to drop all the way down to jonokuchi and fought back to komusubi.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 00:07:33 UTC No. 227365
>>227364
He also broke his hip like 3 times in that period I believe, and then you see him move and notice how his lower back/hips are so stiff.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 00:16:28 UTC No. 227366
>>227315
>Funny how just two months ago when Kotozakura threw his Yokozuna run everyone just assumed he was injured even though he didn't even say he was.
Not me. I was there shitting on all the guys going "next yokozuna! protagonist of sumo!" even though he hadn't shown the consistency to get two double digit bashos in a row, let alone two yusho.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 03:16:27 UTC No. 227377
>>227289
A body made to be a career Jonidan, a shame it's wasted being a couch potato
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 09:20:23 UTC No. 227387
Right boys, it's time to guess what the next inter-basho drama will revolve around. Drunken brawling? Shock injury during the jungyo? Rikishi coming out of the closet? There must be something in the pipeline, it's a long time until May 11.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 09:40:34 UTC No. 227388
>>227315
>>227366
Lmao mind broken Zak is better when he’s healthy hoshoryu has been getting man handled since Zak entered his prime his absolute defense sends Hoshoryu to the clay a lot recently. It’s obvious he’s injured and I’m glad he’s taken it easy because he’ll go back to 14-1 yusho’s while hosh continues to scrap by with 12-2s that’s if he ever touches the cup again with Onosato coming into his own. Also no back to back double digits is silly when he had 5 in a row.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 09:42:37 UTC No. 227389
>Lmao mind broken
>*a paragraph long essay sans punctuation*
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 10:37:25 UTC No. 227390
>>227387
Onosato will announce he's transgender and get banned from competing in Ozumo, but not before revealing his new kesho mawashi which is just a giant tranny pride flag.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 12:28:28 UTC No. 227392
>>227390
It'd be interesting to see what the actual ruling is regarding transgenderism. As far as I'm aware, the "no women on the dohyo" rule is linked to menstruation and being ritually impure - which of course couldn't apply to Onosato.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 13:45:48 UTC No. 227395
>>227392
Nah, tossed out immediately. I'm sure there's all sorts of weirdness behind closed doors, but coming out with any of it is career suicide.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 13:58:31 UTC No. 227397
Onosho intai
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 14:19:13 UTC No. 227398
What a repulsive conversation
I would really rather not discuss disgusting creatures like trannies
Not here or anywhere
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 14:24:22 UTC No. 227399
>>227398
and yet you're doing it
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 14:25:21 UTC No. 227400
>>227395
That's publicity reasons though, isn't it? There'd just be an announcement that Onosato had decided to retire and then nobody in the JSA would ever mention him again. But the thought experiment is really a question of whether the JSA (or Shinto in general) considers a male-to-female transgender as a woman or not.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 15:15:08 UTC No. 227401
It still feels so good to know that I never have to suffer through another H*kuseiho bout ever again.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 16:04:41 UTC No. 227403
>>227401
>*leans on you for an extended period of time*
What's the problem?
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 16:21:51 UTC No. 227406
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsR
mmm chrissloppa
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 17:58:44 UTC No. 227413
>>227406
I watched and enjoy that Chris video, disagree with Kaio's input. If Onosato didn't do the pulling slapdowns then he'd be allowing everyone to overcommit without consequence in attacking him.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 18:45:51 UTC No. 227415
>>227413
I think the issue is more that they just very rarely seem to work.
Meanwhile
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p3
>New tatsusloppa
>Hosh appears for 5 seconds, was probably too busy polishing his useless tsuna to eat infinite sashimi with his bros
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 18:48:15 UTC No. 227416
>>227415
They had to cut the footage where he was playing tennis, please understand.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 19:02:56 UTC No. 227417
>>227406
>hosh too injured to compete
>says he hasn't recovered
>competes in a mini tournament even so
As if we needed more proof of his bullshit
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 19:10:01 UTC No. 227419
>>227415
Hoshoryu was busy rubbing elbows with tanimachi and staying away from the plebians.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 19:15:10 UTC No. 227420
>>227417
>"I'll train around the injury and not take time off"
It's like he's setting up his excuses for next basho already.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 19:19:00 UTC No. 227422
>>227415
>gets fed like a baby
The guy has no dignity whatsoever
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 19:26:10 UTC No. 227423
>>227422
Apologise for calling the previous Yokozuna "Redditnofuji", "Terunoreddit" and "Redditnoreddit". This is what a Reddit Yokozuna looks like.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 19:29:17 UTC No. 227425
>>227423
We didn't know how bad it could be
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 19:45:12 UTC No. 227427
We get it, you don't like Hoshoryu. Analyzing every second of youtube apperances is getting pathetic.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 19:55:38 UTC No. 227428
>>227427
This is what it means to be a Yokozuna
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 20:16:11 UTC No. 227430
>>227427
>getting pathetic
>getting
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 20:30:44 UTC No. 227433
What's pathetic is being unable to acknowledge reality because you don't like it
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 20:47:07 UTC No. 227435
>>227433
There is a difference between acknowledging reality and theorizing potential situations that fit your narrative based on an incredibly limited amount of information.
We used to make fun of Chris for framing his ideas and thoughts as though he was inside of a Rikishi's head, fully able to discern even their most intimate thoughts.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 20:57:56 UTC No. 227436
Best channels if I enjoy beyasloppa? How many beyas have their own channels at this point?
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:07:55 UTC No. 227437
>>227435
>That video where he LARPs as Hakuho telling Teru all about what it means to be a Yokozuna
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:14:45 UTC No. 227438
>>227435
You don't have to like his style, and there are many things he's said and done that can be justifiably criticised. However, he doesn't have any competition. Nobody else is making the same sort of videos, nobody else has been getting the same calibre of footage, and nobody else has even the limited "backstage" access that he has. We make fun of Chris, but we watch his videos anyway, because they're simply the best that we've got. Maybe if he had some more competition he'd tone down the ridiculous flights of fancy.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:19:23 UTC No. 227441
>>227439
I want to see videos from Shikihide's Home for Wayward Boys.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:21:47 UTC No. 227442
>>227439
Gonna be funny when that tiny ass brand new beya gets catapulted into the mainstream by a single rikishi.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:24:43 UTC No. 227443
>>227438
My post wasn't an attack on Chris. He has already significantly toned down his mind reading and "story telling" in videos over the last few years. >>227437 is the biggest example.
He rarely does that anymore and sticks to translating articles, and I miss when he was filming in person more often, was nice for the alternate angle.
My critique is that there are a large number of posters now that are going beyond what we used to ridicule chris for.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:35:23 UTC No. 227447
>>227442
https://youtube.com/watch?v=-0Dwz4D
Tiny is an apt word. Look at how much space that ring is covering, that's crazy.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:39:01 UTC No. 227448
>>227437
Wish someone would tell Horseshitryu all about what it means to be a Yokozuna
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:43:31 UTC No. 227450
>>227448
>And most importantly of all, to honour the tsuna you must appear in beyasloppa videos goofing off and never training
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:43:33 UTC No. 227451
>>227448
They already did when they promoted him. He is living up to the standards that they set.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:44:17 UTC No. 227452
>>227448
>"Uncle, tell me, what it means to be a Yokozuna?"
>"Injury yourself, fight in nightclubs with random faggots, mock japanese culture and be extremely violent on the dohyo"
>"Say no more!"
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 21:53:12 UTC No. 227454
>>227452
Except all he's doing is mocking Japanese culture.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:05:55 UTC No. 227458
>>227456
>hanging out with yakuza
>selling guns
Badass
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:12:12 UTC No. 227460
They're redoing Titanic and you've been asked to recommend two rikishi to play the leading roles of Jack and Rose. Who do you choose?
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:15:12 UTC No. 227461
>>227460
>Jack
Tobizaru, for his cheeky, working-class charm
>Rose
Onosato, no explanation needed
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:16:11 UTC No. 227462
>>227460
Abi and Ura
>who is who?
Yes
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:20:07 UTC No. 227464
>>227460
>Jack
Aonishiki
>Rose
Roga
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:21:34 UTC No. 227465
>>227462
Abi would be Jack.
>Never let go, JacNNNGHGHGGNGNGHGGNGGETOFFMYTHROAT
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:21:54 UTC No. 227466
>>227460
Wakatakakage and Ichiyamamoto
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:23:07 UTC No. 227467
>>227466
I can absolutely see Ichi playing the part of Rose. Crying as Wakatakakage sinks into the ocean.
>Pose me like one of your action figures!
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:23:13 UTC No. 227468
>>227460
Moriurara and Hoshoryu.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:28:24 UTC No. 227469
>>227438
Ok Chris
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:33:12 UTC No. 227470
>>227461
>Captain Nabatame: "My TransGod... there's a giant iceberg right in our path!"
>Helmsman Koga: "AAAH...!"
>The passengers are informed of the impending tragedy
>Onosato appears on the bridge wearing the mawashi
>"I can push the iceberg!"
>Without waiting for a reply, Onosato jumps into the sea and swims to the iceberg
>Tachiai the iceberg and begins to push it out of the ship's path
>"Wow, I'm really stro-AAAAAACK!"
>A surprising ice nodowa
>Playing the role of Iseberugu: Abi.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:34:56 UTC No. 227471
>>227460
dewanojo as the boat
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:35:28 UTC No. 227472
>>227470
kino
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 22:37:25 UTC No. 227473
>>227470
If you wanna see a nodowa on Onosato, re-watch his day 15 bout against Kotozakura.
>So I just push against his throat and I win righ-AAACCCCKKKKK!!!!!
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 23:30:02 UTC No. 227479
>>227470
What's with the freaky schizo tranny god shit
What's wrong with you
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 23:37:02 UTC No. 227480
>>227479
Nabatame sent nudes to a tranny several years ago. It mostly flew under the radar but recently resurfaced, although nobody really paid it much attention.
Anonymous at Mon, 31 Mar 2025 23:38:37 UTC No. 227481
>>227480
Post Nabatame's dick.
Anonymous at Tue, 1 Apr 2025 00:10:36 UTC No. 227484
>>227480
That'd be the Thai part of his heritage
Anonymous at Tue, 1 Apr 2025 00:44:06 UTC No. 227485
>>227415
>I think the issue is more that they just very rarely seem to work.
It's a pretty classic combo.
>push guy to edge
>he resists being pushed out by leaning forward
>setup for slapdown
Big Dan made a career out of it. The problem is most likely that it doesn't work as well at high levels. Onosato probably did it all the time in college and it worked, so he keeps doing it out of muscle memory.
Anonymous at Tue, 1 Apr 2025 00:54:39 UTC No. 227488
>>227291
>I was not able to move forward the way I wanted to
Anonymous at Tue, 1 Apr 2025 01:01:31 UTC No. 227489
>>227460
We already this desperate for sumo content? Atleast try like the Biketism
>Rose
Obviously Ura
>Jack
Shodai
>Jewish conspirators that plan sinking to create the Fed
Onosato, Abi, Gonoyama, Takayasu
Anonymous at Tue, 1 Apr 2025 02:30:10 UTC No. 227492
>>227485
25% of onosato's wins in the last sho were slapdowns
🗑️ Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 04:07:09 UTC No. 227495
Before we continue shitposting, we shall throw handful of salts on the thread to purify it of evil spirits.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 04:13:10 UTC No. 227496
Before we continue shitposting, we must purify the thread once again by throwing handfuls of salt upon it.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 04:56:40 UTC No. 227503
>>227415
What a fucking unit that tuna is.
Based Kitadachi, for actually COOKING it, unlike all other Japanese barbarians.
After seeing tatsusloppa videos, I get why rikishi life is so alluring. Train, eat, have fun, train, eat. No rat race. Food and roof. And a chance of becoming relatively rich and famous.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 04:59:16 UTC No. 227505
>>227501
stop posting
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 05:16:58 UTC No. 227507
Let's add this to the OP, I think I got them all:
List of Beya youtube channels
Futagoyama
https://www.youtube.com/@futagoyama
Isegahama
https://www.youtube.com/@isegahamab
Kise
https://www.youtube.com/@kisebeya
Tatsunami
https://www.youtube.com/@tatsunami-
Tamanoi
https://www.youtube.com/@sumo-taman
Hidenoyama
https://www.youtube.com/@hidenoyama
Oshima
https://www.youtube.com/@oshimabeya
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 05:24:59 UTC No. 227508
>>227507
>Minato
ttps://www.youtube.com/@湊部屋どすこいチャンネ
>Shikoroyama
https://www.youtube.com/@shikoroyam
>Akasayama
https://www.youtube.com/@浅香山部屋公式チャン
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 06:00:12 UTC No. 227511
>>227496
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzd
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 10:05:51 UTC No. 227515
>>227507
List them without the beya names since they all have the name in the link anyway and it takes up 3x the space.
>Beyasloppa
https://www.youtube.com/@futagoyama
https://www.youtube.com/@isegahamab
https://www.youtube.com/@kisebeya
https://www.youtube.com/@tatsunami-
https://www.youtube.com/@sumo-taman
https://www.youtube.com/@hidenoyama
https://www.youtube.com/@oshimabeya
ttps://www.youtube.com/@湊部屋どすこいチャンネ
https://www.youtube.com/@shikoroyam
https://www.youtube.com/@浅香山部屋公式チャン
Nip ones don't need translations because if you don't know what it is, it isn't for you.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 10:14:52 UTC No. 227516
>>227515
And everyone has one-click translation available now anyway.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 12:07:54 UTC No. 227521
>this one horseshitryu simp replying angrily to every joke about him
kek, TMD
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 12:38:10 UTC No. 227522
>>227521
Jokes are funny, you're just being annoying.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 12:40:27 UTC No. 227523
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 14:53:49 UTC No. 227531
>>227515
Looks way worse. Saving "space" is an absurd objective. There's nothing to save and nothing to be gained by saving it.
A nice, clean format with labels is better. You're being silly.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 15:06:33 UTC No. 227532
>>227531
Both formats are too big for the OP. They should be consolidated down into one link, and the link can be as verbose as you want. Maybe with a short overview of what each beya's content is like.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 15:49:21 UTC No. 227535
>>227532
Don't pretend this is a popular general on a big board that tourists drift into constantly. We know what they do, they train then eat slop.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 15:54:17 UTC No. 227536
>>227535
Please understand, this is an autistic thread about an autistic sport. Proper organisation and description is a must.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:10:27 UTC No. 227537
>>227503
Yeah. All that and, in a turbo-atomized society like Japan, where else do you get to spend all day cracking jokes and goofing on your bros? Sumo's supposed to be a retard refuge but salaryman life honestly seems like hell in comparison.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:20:26 UTC No. 227538
>>227537
Come back down to earth. You're not seeing a hundredth of what goes on in a sumo stable. You're seeing edited snippets of life in specific stables, that are put together for the aim of entertaining viewers and encouraging people to join up. There's a reason that there are only ~600 professional rikishi in all of Japan, it's a harsh life and most people will leave in their mid-thirties with no qualifications or relevant life experience.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:23:11 UTC No. 227539
>>227538
>no qualifications or relevant life experience
Spoken like an unemployed R*dditor chiming in on things he has no idea about. Plenty of employers are interested in hiring people who are physically strong and have spent years working a harsh schedule. These are people with excellent work ethic.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:27:15 UTC No. 227540
>>227538
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Zr6W85s
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:29:11 UTC No. 227541
>>227540
Inferior in all aspects to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACT
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:31:42 UTC No. 227542
>>227539
Sorry, I don't consider manual labour a valid career for a man heading into middle-age with a slew of chronic injuries from doing sumo for twenty years. It's a young man's job, while he figures out how to make some proper money without having to sweat and bleed for it. If such a job appeals to you, then that's great - someone has to build the offices and maintain the roads and fill up the landfills and everything else. White-collar work is the only work I'd ever recommend to anyone, though, and life as a sumo wrestler effectively cuts you off from that path, which is why most Japanese boys choose more rewarding options.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:33:47 UTC No. 227543
>>227542
A rikishi's old injuries only flare up when they're under extreme duress like a tachiai. Teru can walk just fine and I imagine can still haul a ton of weight around, and he's more beat up than most ever will be.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:34:37 UTC No. 227544
>>227541
Except in relevance, idiot. If I was just posting a song for the listening I'd post a fucking worldwide hit or something. Obviously the music is tertiary compared to what the video is really about, rikishi finding paths other than sumo. Twit.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:37:52 UTC No. 227545
>>227543
Big Teru couldn't handle working in construction for thirty years and you know it.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:39:39 UTC No. 227546
>>227545
You only do ground work for long enough to build up the experience and connections to get promoted.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:46:10 UTC No. 227547
>>227546
That's a pyramid scheme. Not everyone can be a manager or an executive, the majority of people working in any field involving manual labour will be the labourers. And let's be fair here - most ex-rikishi are lifelong jobbers, who have failed to build experience or connections in their sumo career. They aren't suddenly going to become ambitious and capable once the topknot comes off.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 16:55:40 UTC No. 227549
>>227337
>>227347
Are there any sekitori who lose really gracefully?
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 17:05:14 UTC No. 227550
>>227549
Ura, if no one else
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 17:07:44 UTC No. 227551
>>227538
>it's a harsh life and most people will leave in their mid-thirties with no qualifications or relevant life experience.
They all end up getting well paid easy jobs after leaving sumo via connections made through the heya supporter's clubs.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 17:11:10 UTC No. 227552
>>227551
>source: my ass
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 17:39:01 UTC No. 227553
>>227552
Name one homeless ex-rikishi
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 17:44:27 UTC No. 227554
>>227553
>name someone who was tossed aside and faded into obscurity
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 17:50:42 UTC No. 227555
>>227554
I knew you couldn't do it
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 17:55:44 UTC No. 227556
>>227555
Nobody could do it. There are hundreds of ex-rikishi living in Japan right now, and you can't account for more than a handful of them.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 18:04:11 UTC No. 227559
>>227555
You probably can't find any information on any former rikishi who isn't in the news, even if they own a restaurant.
Chiyotairyuu retired at the end of 2022. Since then, he was on a TV show in February 2024, and announced in December 2024 that he was suing someone for fraud. That's all that's available about someone as high-profile as Chiyotairyuu.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 18:51:49 UTC No. 227561
>>227559
Chris has done a couple of videos with Chiyotairyuu, but even he can't find many ex-rikishi. If he could he'd be spamming the channel with interviews from them just to say he delivers what others don't.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 19:23:45 UTC No. 227562
>>227561
Chris is a massive bleeding heart faggot, if there were homeless broke ex-rikishi in Japan, Chris would be taking advantage of that fact to make more virtue signalling videos simping for the poor same as he does simping for the mongs with his endless false claims of anti-mong racial bias by the JSA.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 19:38:34 UTC No. 227563
>>227562
Unless he knew them personally, he would not have access to those people. Who the fuck is he going to call? Is he going to stalk homeless people who look fat to find out if they ever did sumo?
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 19:39:11 UTC No. 227564
>>227562
He'd have to find them first, and then hope they cooperate. It's telling that despite being such an obvious source of juicy behind-the-scenes information and gossip, the only ex-rikishi he's been able to get in touch with are those who are already notable for other reasons.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 21:37:36 UTC No. 227566
>>227562
>with his endless false claims of anti-mong racial bias by the JSA.
That bias is real because they deserve it
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 21:38:30 UTC No. 227567
>>227565
I can't take this post seriously. I remember when he tried to call a mono-ii on his own bout. Seeing him standing there, still on the dohyo, looking around as if trying to will the shimpan corps into backing him up, was the antithesis of losing gracefully.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 21:41:44 UTC No. 227568
>>227567
>I can't take this post seriously
You weren't supposed to, I just like that one image.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 21:47:06 UTC No. 227569
>>227568
It is a very good picture, I'll give you that.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 22:39:40 UTC No. 227571
>>227567
>I can't take this joke seriously
Nigga what
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 22:46:05 UTC No. 227573
>>227567
The mythological origin of matta is a guy doing essentially that and getting away with it.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 22:50:20 UTC No. 227574
>>227573
It wouldn't surprise me if Hakuho had read that and vowed to give it a try one day. As far as I know he's autistically well versed in sumo trivia and lore.
Anonymous at Wed, 2 Apr 2025 23:12:28 UTC No. 227576
>>227574
a mong weeaboo
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 00:43:21 UTC No. 227582
>>227579
he looks like he carries around books and quickly flips through the pages when hoshoryu contacts him via earpiece to ask about what kind of ancient technique his opponent is about to use
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 02:16:53 UTC No. 227586
>>227579
thats better looking class of tsukebito than he has earned so far.
horseshit should be carrying meisei's gear, at least meisei can put up a KK
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 02:19:01 UTC No. 227587
>>227586
Man I like meisei, but do I need to remind you of his 1-14 from M3w.
I'll never forget, I had picked him in Kachi clash that basho.
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 02:26:29 UTC No. 227589
>>227587
His henka in this basho was disgusting
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 02:27:49 UTC No. 227590
>>227551
>They all end up getting well paid easy jobs
Holy kek, the best they get is a wagie tier job, nobody is gonna hire some no-name shitter from 4th division just because of his sumo background. Either they clean toilets, work at a restaurant after years of being the heya's cooking bitch or go back to live with their families.
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 02:29:25 UTC No. 227591
>>227587
if you have a beef with him then you'll get to enjoy it in a couple years when everyone in makuuchi has double digit kinboshis except him.
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 02:30:56 UTC No. 227592
>>227590
they get management jobs where all they have to do is be large and intimidating and say "work harder"
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 03:03:21 UTC No. 227594
>>227592
>Okay, team! Everyone please welcome your new manager, a 6'2" huge strongfat guy with a golf club!
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 03:50:15 UTC No. 227597
>>227537
I would've been a perfect addition to the roster of Shikihide beya. Unfortunately, I'm 33.
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 04:37:32 UTC No. 227601
>>227555
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sG
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 05:27:46 UTC No. 227603
Hokuseiho's bullying was top tier. Gluing wallets shut and aerosol flame throwers is some creativity.
Anonymous at Thu, 3 Apr 2025 06:14:50 UTC No. 227604
>>227601
This is like saying the dark side of mcdonalds is people have to work there